The Tuesday Report - More Strangeness

Strangeness no longer surprises me one bit. I just wish I understood it, though I mostly don't let that get to me anymore either.

After my yucky and invasive procedure yesterday, I spent a quiet night at home. I slept well ... my shoulders weren't sleep disruptive. They're so much better since I was turned onto Epsom Salts and Wobenzym N, though I didn't have an Epsom Salts soak yesterday at all.

This morning I woke up a little earlier than usual. I'm trying to get up earlier in the mornings so that I can start my work days earlier. I'm not pushing it ... just little by little. Of course, getting up earlier didn't get me to work earlier today because I felt it necessary to get in my Epsom Salt soak in the morning. My reading suggests I should soak for an hour, even though 20 minutes made such a difference the first time. Last time I made it 45 minutes. I tried creating a spa-like atmosphere to keep me in the tub for that long ... some candles ... dim lights ... music. Still, it's hard to stay in the tub that long. And if you get a hot flash in the tub ... not good. Hot water ... hot flash. Bad Combo. I've since learned not to make the water TOO hot even though I like really hot water.

So, this morning I got in the tub for my soak and I was so tired I slept most of the time ... in and out of sleep ... occasionally using my toes to turn on the hot water tap. Even though my toes are numb, they still remember how to do that just fine. That hour slipped by. I was so tired I could hardly get out of the tub and then I thought I might just crawl into bed for a while ... but I didn't. I got myself together and went to work and I was feeling fine until about 2:30 and then I was so tired again, I just couldn't keep my eyes open. I went home, crawled into bed and slept for almost 3 hours. I moved my body to the sofa, crawled under a blanket because I was so cold, watched tv and now I'm on my way back to bed because I'm STILL SO TIRED! What's that about?!! I feel almost drugged tired. I don't understand. And possibly because of that, my legs are more stiff than usual, too. I'm hobbling about like I need a walker again. I don't think that Arimidex has entirely cleared my system OR it has left me permanently disabled. Bastard drug.

So I'm going to bed now. I have a 10:00 a.m. mammogram to look forward to. Oh, joy! Kevin's going to take me. I hope it's not going to be as awful as I've been imagining. What remains of my left breast is still quite tender across into my chest wall and I can't remember how far I'm expected to move my shoulders to accommodate the mammogram machine. I delayed my appointment so that I could get a digital mammogram instead of being exposed again to the older technology. I don't know if the machine itself is different or not. I guess I'll find out tomorrow. I thought it might be a good idea to have a driver just in case I come out traumatized by pain or traumatized by unexpected bad news. Last time I had that mammogram, expecting to be told about "my cyst" only to learn I had a suspicious looking lump, I almost had an accident in the parking light on my way home. The shock is horrible and one shouldn't be sent out to drive themselves home after something like that. Patio thinks that's one way she might serve after she retires ... driving women to and from their mammogram appointments. Good idea, Patio!

By the way, I'm enjoying my vacation from Tamoxifen. I can't say I notice any difference in my limbs and aches and pains but I do think I notice a difference in my general mood and emotional stability. I've been thinking about starting Tamoxifen again next Monday, which will have provided me with a two-week break. I don't want to stay off too long without talking to an Oncologist first and, the way things are going at the Champion Centre, who knows how long that might take?!

Anyway ... hopefully I'll feel rested tomorrow.

Shout out to Lori! I hope you're feeling better today.