More of My Pain Saga

It's nasty when pain becomes "a saga" instead of an "episode". This is so nasty. I've never in my life experienced pain like this. It's agonizing. Excruciating. Draining.

Last night it got so bad that at about 10:30, Luke took me to Emergency. I was almost listless with pain ... or with morphine. I'm not sure. Besides making me groggy, the morphine I'd been taking since 6:00 didn't seem to be working. I was in severe pain. I was worried about the hearing in my left ear and the pain in the roof of my mouth. I could also tell that my gums back by my "dead tooth" were inflamed. I had fleeting thoughts of some infection spreading from my tooth to my brain or passing out from the pain and never waking up again. When I'm afraid to fall asleep (silly as it might be), I surmised it was time to go to Emergency.

Luke had just come home from lacrosse practice and had plans to go out with some friends but he promptly cancelled his plans and insisted on taking me to Emergency. You know what a lengthy wait that can entail, so I encouraged him to just drop me off and then go out with his friends but he refused and I thought it was very sweet of him to hang out in Emergency with him Mom for 3 hours. Shortly after getting to Emergency, I think the morphine started kicking in and I grew a little perkier, stopped crying, and was able to carry on a conversation, at least.

The Doctor said the inside of my mouth was inflamed and he put me on antibiotics and increased my morphine. He was very kind. By the time I got home at 2:30 a.m., the pain had subsided to a low simmer again ... thank, God!!!! ... and I was able to sleep. I woke at 9:00 and could feel the pain returning so I quickly took some more morphine and went back to sleep. When I got up at 12:00, I was feeling pretty good and took more morphine and antibiotics.

I needed to get my prescriptions filled and we still needed groceries, so Luke and I headed out. I had planned on getting groceries before Luke got home so that he would come home to a kitchen stocked with all this favourite things, but with the tooth issues, there were a lot of things that didn't get done as planned. By the time we finished getting through the check-out at the grocery store, I could feel the ache starting up again and I took morphine as soon as I got home at 4:00.

I was somewhat surprised, then, when the pain continued to increase. I took more morphine at 6:00. By that time, the pain had become debilitating. It was as bad as last night. I tried salt water rinsing, heat, ice ... nothing helped. It's now 11:30 and the pain has subsided just slightly in the past 15 minutes or so. I took morphine at 8:00 and then again at 11:00. I'm so tired and groggy ... probably exhausted by the pain but I'm sure the morphine contributes. I can hardly put two words together. It takes a lot of energy to form a sentence ... just to get my brain to put the words together and then to physically move my mouth to get them out. Best not to talk.

Kevin got home from Red Deer at about 10:30 and I think he's dismayed to find me in such a state and, of course, there's nothing he or anyone can do. It's so bloody miserable. I'M so bloody miserable. It really is the worst pain I've ever experienced. Hands down. I just want to sleep. Hopefully, I'll be able to do that soon. Soon. Soon.

What I've learned, I think, is to not ever let the pain get started. If I'd been carrying my morphine with me when we went to the store and took it as soon as I felt that first pulse of pain, maybe it wouldn't have taken hold. Maybe timing is everything. My goal is to hold that pain at bay all day tomorrow and until I get the tooth pulled on Friday morning. I have a feeling I won't feel so good after the tooth is removed either. A whole new adventure. Not the kind anyone wants, that's for sure!