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Saturday, July 11, 2009

Thanks, Syl!

Thanks so much, Syl, for last nights dinner. It was delish and hit the spot. It sat nicely and I was able to enjoy it. Much appreciated! Everyone else enjoyed the angelfood cake (I'm a bit off sweets right now) but I was able to enjoy the fruit you sent.
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Up and At It With the Riders!

Since it's not a yard-working kind of day, it's a great day to curl up on the sofa and watch the Rider game. GO RIDERS! Of course, I'm not actually giving them my undivided attention right now because it's time to check in with my team!

Breakfast, pills, and the newspaper have all been digested. All's good. I didn't sleep as well last night as I had hoped. At 5:30, my bladder called and then I had trouble getting back to sleep. I wasn't uncomfortable ... no boa constrictors around my limbs. I ate a few crackers when my stomach seemed mildly unsettled and that helped almost immediately. And then evil lawyer faces came uninvited again to my thoughts. I hate when that happens. I quickly dispelled them, though, with childhood memories. Let me tell you some. You might have heard these stories before because they're favourites of mine.

Anyway, last night my cousin, Lori, phoned to see how I was doing. It was great to hear from her. Lori and I grew up together until she moved away to Saskatoon in grade 5. Even though we got together frequently after she moved away and those are great memories, too, it wasn't the same as the time we spent together prior to that. Man, we had some fun!

Even though Lori is only 3 months older than me, because she has a late birthday and I have an early birthday, she was a grade ahead of me in school. This is important because Lori was able to convince me at an early age that she was my "elder" and that I must always "respect my elders" and basically, do as they say. I was hooped. This was Lori's way of getting out of playing Barbies with me, I'm sure. It worked. I was a total BARBIE-GIRL! Barbies and playing house!! YES!!!! Lori ... Barbies and house ... not so much.

Still, even though we never played Barbies together, I have no regrets. I learned so much from Lori and we really did have a blast. I could play Barbies for hours all by myself any old time! I started with a Midge and Allan, as above, even though my Mom tried for many years to get me interested in more "age-appropriate dolls". She finally settled on getting me a Midge instead of a Barbie because she thought Midge looked more "wholesome", I think. It was my Grandma Kerr, who finally gave me my first (and treasured) actual dark-haired Barbie when I was 12. I never did have a blonde Barbie, though Francie filled that bill quite nicely. Mom got me Francie and Casey because they were Barbie's younger European cousins and they had smaller busts. Of course, I was eligible, too, to get a Skipper and a Tutti. I still have them all. And I even still love my Penny Bright, my Mom's main attempt at dissuading me from those voluptuous Barbies.

Lori didn't really have Barbies. If she did, they'd been decapitated or dressed up in camo so as to make them unrecognizable. She had some GI-Joe's and she had this odd Barbie-like figure that I just didn't get. She was a cowgirl with a big horse and a removable hat and holsters, I think, but her clothes were all painted on. What's the use of painted on blue jeans? Where's the fun in that? What if she wants to be a fairy princess and wear a gauzy dress and pretend the horse is a unicorn and they're riding into the Mists of Avalon, or something like that? Nope. Lori's "dolls" made no sense to me! We didn't play much with them anyway. They were as uninspiring to me as Barbies were to Lori!

So we played other things instead. We played a lot of "war". Those are some of my fondest memories, though you might wonder! Lori was very keen on being tough and defending our farms from the Germans. At our house, she would sometimes wake me up before the sun was even up so we could go out and sit in the bail fort with our rifles out the peek holes to defend the place from the Germans (cars, trucks and farm machinery). There wasn't much happening at that time in the morning so I wasn't all that into it, to tell you the truth. But I was an obedient soldier, grenades at the ready. Since the traffic was so sparse, Lori decided that the chickens were Nazi Germans. Imagine them, as I did, with little red SS bands around their wings. At some point, Lori would cautiously exit the bail fort and, crouched and speedy, would zig-zig her way across the farm yard and hurl herself behind the corner of the barn. I would watch for her signal. Soon she would hastily wave me forward, covering me with her sharp eye and her rifle. I would crouch and dash (well, if we can call that a "dash") across the yard trying to replicate her route. Inevitably, though, I would hear Lori shout, "HIT THE DIRT!", which was my signal to immediately throw myself flat on the ground. And, let me tell you, when you're a Barbie-girl living in a Barbie-world and yet living on a farm with free-range chickens, you are NOT going to hit the dirt without first checking for chicken-goop on the gound. This would lead to me having to go back to the fort and try again until I got it right. Drills. Eventually I learned where I could really make a great hit-the-dirt effort while avoiding chicken-goop at the same time. Those were the days!!

At Lori's place, they had a great two-level tree house that we had set up like military headquarters and we had the benefit of Lori's farm being at the corner of a much busier intersection. Lots of German tanks to watch for. It was very busy being a soldier there. We had walkie-talkies, binocs, grenades, rifles ... all the trappings!

Speaking of trappings, Lori and I once went gopher trapping together in the coulee hills around our farm. Her idea, of course (me respecting my elder). It was the LAST time either of us ever went gopher trapping to my knowledge. I'm sure neither of us will ever forget that one gopher that got it's leg caught in the trap and we were at a bit of a loss as to what to do about it. It was impacting and turned us off trapping, that's for sure.

At school, Lori and I sometimes played what might have been my favourite game, which was "Get Smart". I liked this because I got to play "99" and I had a little clutch with a mirrored compact that I could use for spying. No camo. Lori was Maxwell, of course, and she could have her telephone shoe. The Cone of Silence. All fun!

While neither Lori or I joined the military, we were both active members and eventual leaders of CGIT groups. That's Canadian Girls in Training for the uninitiated. It sounds a little militaristic, doesn't it, but mostly I remember it for the friendships and the music.

As Lori and I grew up ... me in booniesville, Saskatchewan and she in urban Saskatoon ... you can only imagine the differences, but still we got together when she came to White Bear to visit ... often we would stay at Uncle Bill's and Aunt Alice's in town and we had a great time together ... listening to K-tel albums and singing along ... going to the cafe and playing the jukebox. I particularly remember playing Elvis Presley's mournful "In the Ghetto" over and over again. Yes, Lori and I had a great time and she is part of some of my fondest childhood memories!

Happy retirement, Lori, and thanks for chasing dreaded evil lawyers from my mind in the night!

Time to cheer the Riders!
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Friday, July 10, 2009

Neupogen Injection Done ... All's Well!

All worked out with Home Care eventually. They had misplaced my file and so I wasn't on their schedule today. Good thing I was persistent. I got a call at noon saying a nurse would be here in 15 minutes. Kevin (Nurse Ratchet) and Sylvia (Nurse Cratchet) were both able to get here in time to go through the procedure with the home care nurse so everyone would be on the same page as to how these needles are to be given.

I let Kevin and Sylvia handle all the details. I just averted my eyes, paced for a while, then laid down and exposed my ass for the injection. Sylvia had gotten some of that emla numbing stuff (just call me numb-butt, not to be confused with dumb-ass) that Anne had suggested (thank, Anne and Syl) and even though there wasn't enough time for it to work completely this time, maybe it did help for the short time it was on. We'll be able to better coordinate the emla applications for the next injections. YEAH!

So ... I had my needle and NO TEARS!! And now that Syl and Kev know the procedure, I'm glad that Sylvia is willing and able (and infact HAPPY) to be able to give my next neupogen injections (to help my white blood cells rebound more quickly). I think she likes giving needs (she is a nurse, after all) ... and not just to me, I must add. She says she's glad to feel useful though she's been entirely helpful throughout this whole process. Even though I know Kevin is quite capable of giving me injections and I trust him to do it, I would rather he not unless we're in a pinch (another yucky word) just in case he gives me one that hurts and then I might associate him with that. I don't want that. And thanks to Chris, who has offered to step in and happily inject me if Sylvia is unavailable. I've taken your offer to heart, Chris, and I will call if I need your steady hand and bedside manner. The rest of you, I won't be calling. You can just cheer from the sidelines when it comes to needles, okay? Okay!! I'll bet you're glad the pressure is off ... then again, maybe you have secretly been wanting to poke me with a needle for years! Hmmmm ...

Mom and I just went for a walk after lunch and picked up some fruit and sundries from the store on Broadway. It was nice to get out for a walk in the sunshine. An elderly man in the store was completely smitten with my hat! I suggested I could trade for his red ball cap, but he didn't take me up on the offer, though Mom later heard him mumbling to himself that he should have traded. Truthfully, I wouldn't have given up this hat. It's the one from Auntie Anne. It's an olive green straw hat with a yellow flower and a scarf and it matches my olive green bermuda shorts. I felt pretty spiffy in it! Thanks, Auntie Anne! I love it!

Why describe it when I can show a photo? This is my first attempt at a self-photo. For what it's worth, here's me in my hat.

I hope you are all having a great day!
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Waiting ... waiting ... waiting ... for Home Care to call

I had a great sleep last night! Bonus! I feel pretty good. My stomach is just slightly off. It just means I have to eat smaller, easy-on-the-stomach meals interspersed with things like fresh fruit. No biggie.

I was supposed to get my appointment time from Home Care this morning by 10:30 because they are supposed to be here either just before lunch or just after. They were told that I would need at least enough time for Kevin and Sylvia to be notified so they could get here in time to have their "training session". I phoned Home Care just before 11:00 (as instructed if I hadn't heard anything by 10:30) and they assured me that someone would call me back right away. But now it's almost 11:20 and nothing. Grrrrr ...

So ... I wait ... I'm not such a good waiter sometimes. Good thing I'm also not in the restaurant business.
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Thursday, July 9, 2009

Wine for a Princess.

See the grip I have on this bottle of wine from Lou! What does that tell you?
And look at the flurry of pink scarves! I didn't have any pink to wear to this event. Now I have some great pink scarves and hats to reflect a little colour on my cheeks on those pale days.

Patio's friend at work, Jan (who I know), made this lovely princess crown with veil for me! Thanks, Jan! Isn't it grand? It looks awfully good on me, I think. I said I would wear it to a chemo treatment, just in case they're not sure who they're dealing with! Especially when they're flashing big, honkin' needles in front of my eyes!

Thanks, everyone! Thanks for these photos, Lyn!

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Thanks to my great team!

Lyn sent me this photo from the hat/scarf party that Patio and Carol so kindly hosted for me. Look at all you amazing women friends who came out to support me in friendship, care and fun! Peggy and Lynne arrived later and there are several who emailed me to say they were unable to attend. Thanks again to everyone! It was really fun and so timely that it turned out to be the day I felt my very best and most like a princess!

By the way, here's an example of how efficient Lyn is. She had her photos in my inbox before I even got home from the party! Thanks, Lyn.

Here's another photo that Patio sent.

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Kicked by Chemo and Loving It!!

Hi everybody!!

Here I am, the day after chemo. This morning I've had a schwack of pills and some oatmeal garnished with banana (potassium), raisins (iron), strawberries fresh from my garden and blackberries (antioxidants), and cinnamon (something good - I can't remember). I even had the stomach for it! YEAH!! I feel pretty good considering I didn't sleep very well during the night. From the time I went to bed at 11:00 to about 4:00 in the morning, it felt like a boa constrictor was wrapping itself around my forearms and upper legs, leaving them feeling repeatedly constricted, numbed and weakened. It didn't hurt. It was just a very strange sensation. Between that and having to get up to pee every hour to hour and a half really limits the ability to get a good night's sleep.

Even though I didn't sleep well at night, I slept and dozed quite a bit yesterday after my chemo treatment.

The chemo treatment. YUCK! I really hate the time spent there getting the treatment and here's why. First, it's so cold and uncomfortable. This time I came prepared. I dressed very warmly, I brought a small down-filled comforter and my big bear slippers. I used all of those and still had Kevin get me and extra blanket and I was still COLD!! I coudn't wait for it to be over.

And then ... and this is not good for me ... the nurse sat in front of me to give Kevin (and I --- really, not a good idea) a little training session on how to give me what will be 5 injections I have to have post-chemo (starting tomorrow) to help my white blood cells recover more quickly. Kevin first asked her about the size of the needle and she assured him it would be "tiny" like the one he uses for his insulin. Then, she reveals this big, honkin' needle and my eyes start to well up immediately!! It was BIG!! About as thick as a pencil lead ... and LONG!! About 3 inches!! Kevin commented that it looked A LOT BIGGER than an insulin needle. And then she explained that it's the needle used to draw up the drug but that another smaller needle is used to inject it. Still, by then I was a puddle and scared half to death. You have to understand, I'm NOT good with needles, in case you haven't figured that out yet. I do okay with traditional blood taking needles ... once I got over the fainting and learned to warm them about my tiny, rolly veins. I'm really very good. Injections. Not so good. Home Care is going to come tomorrow to give me my first injection and to make sure Kevin and his Mom know the procedure (which I'm sure Sylvia knows already) and then, I guess, Kevin or Sylvia will give them to me. YIKES! Mostly YIKES needles period. Someone please just put me out first!

The drug cocktail they give me during chemo (and no, Laurel, I don't drink this cocktail ... it's all done intravenously one at a time through my PICC-line, which was annoyingly uncomfortable this time after just having the dressing changed in the morning) make me very groggy so I slept a little during chemo treatment but it's not a restful sleep ... it's druggy and I'm not entirely out. Strange.

When I got home, though, at about 4:00, I curled up on the couch, warmed up quickly and fell deeply asleep almost immediately. So did Kevin. Chemo exhausts him, too. We both slept until supper while Mom did laundry and tip-toed around. Marina stopped by for a quick visit and brought me some beautiful flowers .... thanks, Marina! Mom made me poached eggs on toast for supper, which sat well on my stomach and aside for debilitating fatigue and some minor nausea, I felt okay for the evening until I went to bed. I was just very weak, a little dizzy, a little pale ... but okay. I feel better today.

Thanks for all your well wishes. Day 1 went as well as could be expected, I think (except for that needle incident). I feel good enough this morning to do a few things right now and hopefully it will be a good chemo day 2!
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Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I Get My Chemo Cocktail This Afternoon!

Mmmmmm ... chemo! I get my toxic chemo cocktail this afternoon at 1:00. My liver enzyme counts have come down considerably.

ALT is the one liver enzyme count that is not quite down to normal. Normal is between 5 and 45. Mine was at 15 before I started chemo. Last week it was 698. Today it's at 116.

My oncologist thinks chemo was the cause of the liver enzymes being out of whack so he's suggesting that we go ahead with chemo but he will reduce the "E" (of my FEC chemo combo) by 25% and see if that makes a difference. He suspects that my liver enzymes counts will still end up being high. I'll have more blood tests done next week to see where things sit.

My oncologist had earlier suggested giving me preventative antibiotics at the time of this chemo treatment with the hope of preventing the fever and infections that landed me in the hospital last time. But now he's recommending against the antibiotics to reduce any further liver issues and to help them pinpoint the exact cause of the raised liver enzyme counts.

He will, however, start me on neupogen after my chemo treatment. This will involve, I think, 5 injections (one every 2nd day) after treatment. Neupogen is supposed to help my white blood cells recover more quickly. Maybe that will make a difference. The side-effect that is most common with neupogen is bone aches. Hopefully that will be minimal.

Anyway, as strange as it may sound, I'm so excited to get kicked down by chemo again! Now to get ready. Drink lots of water ... light lunch ... dress warm ... take a blankie ... take my bear slippers ... take my princess crown ... remember that I'm surrounded by such a good team ... imagine them cheering me on from the side-lines and blocking for me as I soldier on. Good to go!
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Tuesday, July 7, 2009

It Bears Repeating!

Just in case I wasn't clear about how thrilled I was with the hat/scarf party and mostly just seeing all of you ... THANKS SO MUCH!!  
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I Can't Thank My Friends Enough!

Really. I mean REALLY! I'm a little overwhelmed and so very touched by the truly wonderful hat/scarf party that my friends Carol and Pat organized for me! I was really so touched to see all of you there ... family and friends. I can't tell you what your support and care has meant to me already and it was so great to see so many of you in one place! I had many emails from friends who were unable to be there and I thank all of them, too.

What a CRAZY AMAZING selection of hats, scarves, flowers, and other goodies you all brought!! I really can't wait to try everything on and model them for you. I promise to regularly take photos so you can see how everything looks! And when I get a copies of some of the photos from the party, I'll post them here.

Again ... THANKS SO MUCH!! xoxoxoxoxoxo
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Mad Chore Day

Today, if all the stars align, will be my last good day for a while. Tomorrow I hope to get my 2nd chemo treatment. That means I have to make hay today while it's raining. That means I'll be cleaning bathrooms, refreshing all the bedding, cleaning the fridge, washing floors, dusting, tidying. I won't feel like doing those things for a while so today is the day!

Time to put on a fancy dress and get cleaning! I used to wear my old brides maid dresses for serious cleaning projects (it helps to feel like Cinderella) but I've long outgrown those. Sadly.
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Deciphering Fruit and Veggie Stickers

I learned this recently and it's been helpful.

You know those coded stickers on fruits and vegetables? Well, they tell you how that food was grown. For example:
  • A conventionally grown product (grown with chemical assistance) will have a 4 digit PLU code starting with the number 4. (Example: conventionally grown Red Delicious apple: 4015)

  • An organic product will have a 5 digit code starting with the number 9. (Example: organic Red Delicious apple: 94015)

  • A genetically engineered (GE or GMO) product will have a 5 digit code starting with the number 8. (Example: GMO Red Delicious apple: 84015)
I learned an easy way to remember this:
  • 4 is a bore
  • 8 I hate
  • 9 is fine
Information found here.
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Monday, July 6, 2009

The Girls! And Mike!





























Hannah, Tana, Katelyn, Kayla. The girls.
How nice to have them here!
Oh yeah! Marissa came along!
Great to see Mike again, too!
We wish Gillian and Leah could be here, too!


















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Regina Worth the Trip

Thanks, Don and Syl for taking me along with you to Regina. It was great to hang with the other parents and watch our boys play in the final. The Steelers (our guys) won the final against Regina and I was thrilled to see Luke get the League MVP award and a tournament all-star award. It was great to be there. I had been feeling a bit like I was missing out on lacrosse, which I love to watch, so this was great!

I'm feeling better all the time. I'd better enjoy it while I can because if all goes as planned, I'll be kicked down again by chemo on Wednesday! At least I hope so ... funny, but true!
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Sunday, July 5, 2009

TWO ROAD TRIPS in ONE WEEKEND!

Another road trip opportunity has just surfaced!! Don and Syl are driving to Regina today to see Luke's lacrosse game and they asked if I'd like to go!! DO I WANT TO GO??!! Hell ya!! How exciting!!

Originally, we'd anticipated that I wouldn't be able to go because I'd have just had chemo, but since there was no chemo, I'm good to go!

Luke is playing in the provincial BOX lacrosse tournament this weekend in Regina. This photo is from last year's field lacrosse nationals. It's a good one of Luke and Syl, I think.
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Road Trip

Hannah and I had a great road trip! We stopped at Mom's in Kyle. Gary jumped in with us and we all went to the Lake. We went for a little walk and saw some of the new cabins going up. We saw Brent, Andrea and all their cutie kids at main beach and then we stopped and visited with Velma and Dale. Hannah had a swim and then we went to White Bar bar for dinner with Darrel and Lynn. The place was pretty hopping busy on a Saturday night. The food was good and plentiful and the service great. The place has such character. I wish I'd had my camera but Kevin took it to Regina with him. Hannah and I made a quick stop at the farm, following Darrel and Lynn through the coulee, which was a real treat. We stopped and watched deer in the coulee. A little walking tour of the farm, checking out kittens, playing with the the dogs, admiring the lentils, and the potential of the Saskatoon and chokecherry crops, and commenting generally on how green and tidy everything looks ... and then we were on the road back to Saskatoon. A quick visit but very nice. Great to get out of the city and great to see familiar and much loved places. And then I slept for almost 10 hours!

Hannah has just made us buckwheat pancakes with blueberries and bananas. With the beautifully fanned strawberry on the corner of the plate, it looks like we're in a fancy restaurant! If only I had my camera ...
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Saturday, July 4, 2009

Wish I knew what my liver enzymes were at RIGHT NOW!

I'm anxious to know if my liver enzyme counts are returning to normal. I have to wait until Wednesday to find out.

Rather than sit around worrying about them, Hannah has proposed that she and I make a day trip to Kyle, the lake, the farm, and White Bear bar. I'm in. Since I'm not on chemo right now and am feeling pretty good, that sounds like a perfect thing to do on this beautiful day! A trip out of the city sounds dreamy!

Kevin and Luke are off to Regina for lacrosse. I hadn't expected to be able to go and so a hotel room wasn't booked with me in mind and I don't think there's a hotel room left in the whole city. So I'll do something with Hannah instead and hope to see more lacrosse at a later date. GO LUKE!!
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Happy Feet!

Bonnie! Oh, man, she made me laugh this week! Hannah was leaving the house to pick up a few things and she found, on our front step, a gift bag. Curious!

On top was a card with a big old polar bear on the front. Bonnie had written, "When you find yourself looking down - put on some "happy bear feet" and you'll feel like looking up again!". And there, inside were "bear feet" and some "sexy socks". Personally, I don't think you can say "sexy socks" and "kankles" (such as I have) in the same sentence, but whatever ... at least they're funny!

These bear slippers are ones Bonnie and I found together when we were looking for some silly gifts for our splurge club Christmas party a few years ago. When Bonnie found these, we had such a good time with them before the party. We wore them around the office with our skirts. We pirouetted, grand jeted, twirled, and had a good, old laugh-a-minute silly time with them. I think there are even photos somewhere.

Anyway, Bonnie ended up with them herself at the Christmas party and she has thoroughly enjoyed them and tormented her family with them. And she so thoughtfully sent them to me for fun.

Kevin says, "If you can't have hair on your head, at least you can have hair on your feet"! Hmmmm ... Do you think he's calling me a Hobbit? I kind of always wanted to be a hobbit. I have the legs for it. Now I have the feet!

Bonnie, you're a funny girl. And you make GREAT LASAGNA, too! If your boys are getting tired of your lasagna, you just remind them that we'll gladly take it off their hands. Any day! Thanks, Bonnie!
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Friday, July 3, 2009

Lots of Little Things

I'm feeling pretty good today. No chemo has that effect on me, I think. As disappointing as the delay is, it is nice to feel good and not to have to worry about all the little side-effects for a change. I'm still trying to drink as much water as possible, though, hoping it will be good for my liver enzyme counts. I also tried hot water with lemon this morning.

Jack is still stranded in Saskatoon, though he's planning to get a ride out of Rosetown this afternoon with Lynn, in time to get a courtesy car there while his van's engine is being fixed or replaced. He planned on working this weekend so he's trying to get back to Calgary. It's been nice having him visit, though. He's a handy guy to have around and it's just nice to have family near. Kevin bought a firepit thingie last night so we had a little fire on the deck, which was a real treat. I made sure I took my wig off, though, because I'm told that even a little bit of heat (such as taking something out of the oven or standing near a barbeque) can make the synthetic fibres fizzle into nothing.

Last night Auria and Tarah came by for a visit. It's nice to see them both looking so good and doing great.

Elaine came by this morning for a visit on her way back to Elrose from their mini-vacation at Waskesiu. She announced a 9th grandchild on the way! AMAZING! How nice to see Elaine!

Sandra and Katelyn brought themselves and a beautiful picnic lunch today! It was so nice and very yummy. They even brought wine, which I can't have. Sandra did catch me trying to drink hers, though. Old habits. Thanks, you two!
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Thursday, July 2, 2009

Brother Jack in the House

We had a surprise visit from my brother, Jack, yesterday. Visiting from Calgary. Of course, for Jack it wouldn't be a visit to Saskatoon without a break-down in Rosetown, so Kevin drove there to rescue him. Jack thinks the motor is toast but he's laughing because it's still on warranty!

Very nice to have Jack here for a visit.
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