Hope Springs Eternal

First ... much thanks to Chris and Sue who directed me to Barb. I'm registered and have my first appointment tomorrow night and a home appointment on Saturday morning. I'll have a personal trainer for a little while. As Roger said, "You and Madonna!"

So I've begun. To WORK at getting my life back ... since it doesn't look like it's going to be handed back to me. I can assure you that this is going to be SO hard for me and I will need regular attitude adjustments. I feel less depressed and hopeless having taken this step and I wouldn't have done so already without the prompt and knowledgeable suggestions of my friends who amaze me always. I can't believe anyone is still reading this!! Aren't you sick of me yet??!! God, I am!!!

Tomorrow I phone my family doctor and talk about trying a new medication to help with the joint/bone/tendon/muscle pain and stiffness. I've been putting it off for too long. Hopefully the next thing I try will work. Is it too much to ask for no unpleasant side effects?

I have other things to ask him about after having seen my radiation oncologist yesterday morning. He gave me a little tough love in his speech to me on my "graduation day". It was my last appointment with him. From now on I see my family doctor for follow-ups. Every 4 months for the first year, every 6 months after that until ... already I can't remember when ... I KNEW I should have put that on my calendar immediately. I wish they'd provide written information since that's very standard ... just a handout would do. I tell you, all those studies about the loss of "verbal memory" from chemo and Tamoxifen are so true! I really feel it.

Anyway, he also told me that it's "too bad about your frozen shoulder but you're going to have to stretch that arm over your head even though I know it will really hurt a lot". Great. I can't even imagine. I can't even make my arm go higher than it does. I think that's why they call it "frozen". My feeling is that it would snap off if forced higher. He explained that the radiation continues to create scar tissue as it works for up to 18 months after treatments are finished and that scar tissue builds on top of the scar tissue from surgery. He tells me that if I don't stretch those tissues and muscles out regularly and now, my left arm could become "crippled" ... which is kind of what it is right now. I'll talk to my doctor about it and will probably be going back to a physical therapist to whom I'll explain what my radiology oncologist has advised and see where that gets me. I don't know how much my rad onc knows about frozen shoulder. He did scare me a bit, though, and that's probably a good thing.

Kevin drove me to work today and picked me up. Thanks, Kev. That really did make my day a little easier, though I get less exercise that way. Not to worry, my Personal Trainer will put me on track ... somehow ... I hope.

Hope Springs Eternal