What's funny is that I didn't even notice when I walked right through the middle of it this morning. It wasn't until Patty, who I work with, commented on it when we were outside at noon and I wondered how I could have missed it! Well, two reasons probably. One because I was deep in thought about some bad news I'd got in my email this morning. Another friend diagnosed with breast cancer. It makes me so angry. I had no stomach for breakfast. So I was deep in thought and probably swearing a blue streak under my breath. Those who know me well know I don't swear very much - never have - except sometimes just to get a rise - but cancer has given me lots to swear about and I so I do. Liberally. Especially when I'm alone.
And then I fell. I never used to fall so much but I do now every now and then. I have to be careful. I think it's because I still don't have feeling in my toes and the front of my feet. Most of the time I don't notice. It's not that I'm topply all the time, but .. whoosh ... just like that I can go down. Only, it seems, if I'm on an uneven surface. Anyone could fall under those circumstances, I guess, but I know I stumble and/or fall much more than I ever used to. Clumsy. I don't fall as much as when I did during the winter after I finished chemo in October. And then I was falling in snow so I luckily didn't hurt myself.
Almost everyone has told me that my feeling will come back but I don't think so. It mostly came back in my fingers and some came back in my feet but it's been over a year and a half now since I finished chemo and I'm pretty sure this is it. It doesn't effect my quality of life at all except for the ocassional stumble. This morning, at least, I fell on grass.
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