TA DA!! Christmas Decorations Put Away!

I'll bet you thought it would never happen! Me, too!! And yet, the Christmas boxes are all neatly packed away until another 10 months have passed. Kevin helped. We cleared a lot of junk out of the "junk room" and made some space. I'm very happy.

This doesn't mean we're done though, unfortunately. There is still a lot of progress to be made in the old junk/storage room but now that there's some space to maneuver and some initial progress made, I'm primed for the project. Maybe. I say that now, of course.

I must also thank Lynne and Jim for their help! They don't even know they helped! They've invited us over for dinner tonight so that freed up some time for Kevin and I to focus on that room and not have to fuss over dinner. Thanks, Jim and Lynne!

Now for a breather! That was tiring!

By the way, no pressure Norma and Lou! Can you believe they still don't have their Christmas decorations put away?! Really!!

TA DA!! Christmas Decorations Put Away!

Otto Is Convinced He's a Lap Dog

Otto Is Convinced He's a Lap Dog

Kevin and Otto and The Big Play

Kevin and Otto and The Big Play

The Saturday Hair Report

It IS getting longer. It looked darker last week, though. Now it seems like the cream ... or the silver ... is rising to the top!

I gave myself a little 60s flip, with limited resources mind you, just to give you some idea of the possibilities!

Leg hairs are still peculiar. A couple of little ones starting above the mid-shin line but if you were to examine my leg you would be very puzzled by the oddity of the growth in general. Some amost invisible hairs have appeared on my arms but I could hardly ever find hairs there even before all of this. No arm pit hair yet. No even under my right arm. And, well, just in case you're wondering ... my most private of hairs are returning, too. Again, oddly. A few long stragglers amidst a bit of fuzz is all. I was never RICH in body hair in the first place. I wonder how I ever ended up with so much on my head?

The Saturday Hair Report

Yeah Knights!

Bellarmine won their first official game of the season. Luke got 1 assist for 1 point.

Yeah Knights!

A Little Lacrosse With Our Pancakes

We're in the process of monitoring live stats for Luke's lacrosse game that's taking place right now. They've been neck and neck through the first period and Luke has had an assist. It's 4 to 4 right now.

For the game, I made oatmeal pancakes. I've never made this recipe before. I had to start it last night by soaking the oats in buttermilk in the fridge overnight. I loaded them with blueberries, which are mostly on the underside. I must say they were delicious and I'll make them again. They're a little more delicate than regular pancakes so I had to be careful to not make them too big or they'd have fallen apart when flipped. Here's the recipe. You have to scroll down a bit for the actual recipe.

Again, I didn't sleep great last night. ANNOYING! Sleep disturbance isn't listed as a side effect for Tamoxifen but Cheryl reminded me that it IS a side effect of menopause and since Tamoxifen gives you all the other side effects of menopause, it only makes sense that sleep problems would be part of the package. Funny it's not listed, though, since they do list a lot of the other problems such as hot flashes and the general drying up of one's feminine parts. Great. I've also had a mildly upset stomach a few times since I've started the Tamoxifen. And yesterday I noticed that I feel inappropriately hungry ... hungry when I shouldn't be (like the middle of the night). Maybe that's why women usually gain weight on this drug?

Today I had pomegranate juice for the first time since last Saturday's disgusting incident. So far so good, except for the fact I don't really care for pomegranate juice in the first place. I'd rather be left with the taste of blueberry oatmeal pancakes in my mouth but since you have to take the pills on a full stomach, that sequence just isn't in the cards.

I also had two bad jaw aches lately. One at 6:00 last night and then at 4:00 a.m. I got tylenol more quickly for the one in the middle of the night. I almost passed out from the pain at supper time last night. When I could feel my rapid release tylenol finally kicking it, it was the sweetest relief.

I got over my jaw ache in time to enjoy dinner at Norm's with Kevin, Don and Syl. It was nice to get together and catch up. And Norm was in very good spirits, it being the start of a major Vietnamese holiday.

Arden just picked up a ground ball! They even called him "Brick" in the live stats!! That's SOOOO funny! Arden, if you recall, is Luke's buddy from here who is also on a lacrosse scholarship to Bellarmine University in Louisville, Kentucky.

GO KNIGHTS!!!

A Little Lacrosse With Our Pancakes

Flowers On Friday

Sylvia dropped by this afternoon with some cheery flowers! Thanks, Syl!

Otto and I went on our walk today. It's mild but is sunshine too much to ask for? Sunshine would have been nice. So far we haven't had any sun on our walks. We did what has become our "usual route". This time I remembered the step counter and we logged about 5100 steps which is about 2.5 miles. or 4 km. Good! We saw the strangest thing today. We saw a young man pulling a big cart of what looked like bunches of broken wood and behind it was tied one of those kidmobiles that pull behind bicycles. It was filled with stuff. There was more stuff attached but I was too stunned to remember and by the time I saw him he was right beside us so I didn't get my camera out in time. He was going down the bridge with a bunch of traffic behind him. What on earth was going on? All I could guess was that it might be a homeless person moving his "stuff" to a new location.

And this. What in the heck is this supposed to be? It's some kind of sculpture made of sweaters, snow and water. I'm not getting it, though. I must not have enough imagination. Is it supposed to look like something?

This morning ... TADA ... Otto and I started working on those dang Christmas decoration boxes! But you know how it goes ... or maybe you don't ... CHAOS BEFORE ORDER! So we went from one tidy pile in Luke's bedroom to a whole big mess in every room upstairs. That's because our upstairs storage room has become such a disaster that it has to be cleared out and organized before the Christmas decorations can be put away. I made good headway this morning, though, and I still have a long way to go. I would love to have it done before Kevin gets home but that's not going to happen. In fact, he's going to have to help me with some of it. In the end, it will be so much better. And those decorations will be tucked away! This is the before photo when the boxes were mostly neatly piled in Luke's room.

I had a bit of trouble sleeping last night. That's unusual for me. Typically I sleep well and so two nights of bad sleep in three days makes me wonder if it isn't the Tamoxifen. I need to read the list of side effects again because I don't remember that being one.

Limbs - same old. Very old. With some doorknobs, I need to use two hands to turn them. I never had to think about it before but I have trouble now opening our front door unless I use two hands.

One more week at home before I head back to the office! As I said, it's both scary and exciting! In fact, I was really dreading it for a while but I realize now that the reason I dreaded it was because my brain was still not functioning very well. I easily became overwhelmed by activity and information while I was going through all of this and it was only a week or so ago, after I almost literally "felt" the air and sun creep back into my brain, that I have felt more confident of being able to manage at work. It was like somebody suddenly swept the cobwebs out of my skull and opened some windows. I didn't even realize how crippled my brain had been until it suddenly felt better. It's hard to explain. I liken it a bit to going through life not knowing you badly need glasses and then getting them and having it open up a whole new world of clarity that you didn't realize you were missing out on. Just because my brain is now a little stronger and capable doesn't mean my memory has returned to before cancer treatment levels. In fact, once I get back to work I think I'll realize even more how bad my memory has become. It really surprises me now the things I will suddenly forget or not quite be able to nail down in my memory ... things that I wouldn't have lost before. My memory wasn't firing on all cylinders before all of this but it's now significantly worse and I can never anticipate what I'll forget because it will be things I can't believe aren't right there which makes it all the more embarrassing. How does one prep for that? You might be offended to know how often I've forgotten your last names and have even hesitated over some first names! It shocks me! I understand that it's part of "chemo brain" and that it should improve over the next year. Let's hope so. It's embarrassing sometimes!

It's the weekend. Time to forget about the things I can't do and focus on the things I can do. Such as deal with that disaster I've created upstairs. YIKES!!

Have a wonderful weekend everyone! It's SUPERBOWL time if you're looking for an excuse for a party!!

Flowers On Friday

Hilarious - Dead Fly Art

For my amusement, Berny sent me "Dead Fly Art" today! I am TOTALLY amused!

Thinking of all the people I know on beaches right now, I'll feature this one. See more of them here.

I wonder if the artist used tweezers? I'm grossed out at the thought of positioning them by hand.

Hilarious - Dead Fly Art

Real Men Like Quiche

Asparagus Quiche. This is what we're having for supper tonight with a spinach salad.

Here's the new-to-me recipe except that I added 2 extra eggs and made sure I had 2 cups of milk because my pastry shells were bigger. It worked perfectly, though we haven't tasted it yet.

Speaking of taste, Kevin's reggae coffee was good but not GREAT. That's according to Kevin. I don't drink coffee. I don't even know how to make it.

Otto and I only had a short walk today ... around the block and through the alleys. I got groceries, prepped vegetables for the fridge and made quiche. Kevin is home again.

Real Men Like Quiche

More Thanks to More Team

Two more names came to mind. Here's a new Wordle of Thanks! Make sure you're included.

More Thanks to More Team

Updated Thanks!

I thought of a name I neglected to include in my earlier Thanks. So here's a new Wordle Thanks that's more complete. I hesitate to say "complete" because surely some other names will come to me yet.

Sorry if I've missed anyone so far. Let me know if I have.

And know that you've all helped me so much in your own way ... even when you don't know it.

Click on the picture to see a bigger version.

Updated Thanks!

A Peppier Day

Yesterday, aside from my walk and playing with Wordle, the day was pretty much a write off. I think I can attribute that to lack of sleep. I had trouble sleeping two nights ago. I came downstairs and curled up on the sofa at 3:00 and watched a whole movie (The Claim - tragic Thomas Hardy), after which I fell asleep. But I didn't sleep long enough and I was left feeling a little draggy all day even though I made myself go out for a walk. Otto needed it and ... well ... so did I. I had hoped to be refreshed after the walk but between being tired already and my joints protesting and feeling like a slight cold might be getting me, I laid low.

Last night I slept better. Exhaustion will do that, you know. Otto was happy to jump up on the bed and take Kevin's spot except that he insisted on having his nose stuck under my arm pit. Whatever. I slept. And I feel better for it. I slept those cold symptoms away, too, it seems.

I'm squeaky clean and have done my full body exam. A few little hairs are starting on the upper part of my shins. That's progress. The ones on the bottom of my legs are getting longer but are growing very oddly. Patchy. There will be a little clumb (well, not like a hobbit type clump) in one area, then a bare patch, and then a few straggly ones. Weird. You can hardly see where the skin tags had been on the right side of my neck. While the left side certainly looks better than it did, there is some raised red skin where two of them had been. I'm sure it will diminish a bit soon. My head hair is getting thicker. It's getting that "teddy bear" feeling that Berny described. At last! No moustache yet. That's a good thing! HAHA! I

It's time to go for groceries. Big undertaking.

The flowers and plant life above are from the Conservatory.

A Peppier Day

Sponge Bob Sighting

Enough playing with Wordle for today! This is why I didn't get Christmas boxes put away today.

Otto and I did get out for a walk though. We did the same route as yesterday mostly because I knew there was an open area where we could play catch and maybe we would find the ball we lost yesterday. We did play catch. We did not find the lost ball. The thing about NOT losing the ball is that I had to put it somewhere when we were ready to walk again. If I keep it in my hand, Otto is constantly waiting for me to throw it. So I had to put the very slimy thing in my pocket. ICK!!

On the way home we spotted Sponge Bob. He looked desparate. He was either kidnapped or he had cabin fever.

I had a nice, long chat with cousin Lori and we've arranged to go for lunch next week before I start back to work.

I'm pretty hobbly again today. At least I'm not surprised. Fingers and arms stiff. Whatever!

You should have seen Otto last night at bedtime. He came up to our room as always but this time he came to my side of the bed and rested his chin on the bed beside my pillow and stared at me with those sad, lonely eyes. We invited him up and lickity split he was snuggled between us soaking up all the dual attention. He was reluctant to get off the bed and kept burying his nose and eyes under our pillows ... "you can't see me" ... "I can't hear you".

Today. No groceries. No Kevin. He's at an annual board meeting retreat so I don't really need to get groceries until tomorrow. Tomorrow. That's when I'll do more. Yeah! Tomorrow. Sure.

Sponge Bob Sighting

And Again ... In So Many Ways

And Again ... In So Many Ways

Thanks again!

Thanks again!

Look Into My Mirror ...

Hi Team!

You've been Romper-Roomed! I made a list of all of your first names, copied them into Wordle and came out with a whole bunch of different ways to visualize my thanks to all of you. This is just one example.

Please let me know if I've missed a name. There are so many of you, I'm afraid that while I was listing from the top of my head that I might have missed a name or two.

Click on the image to see a much larger and more readable format!

Look Into My Mirror ...

I Saw My Shadow. It was BIG! What Does That Mean?

Otto took me for a nice, long walk today! We walked down the street to the river, played catch with a brand new ball for a while ... until we lost the ball ... then along the trail by the river to Broadway, up the hill, down Broadway and then home. It was a good route in that Otto was all peed out by the time we got to Broadway so he didn't have to stop and pee on everything there. Along the way we met a beautiful Airedale Terrier who would have loved to romp in the snow with Otto. It was quite the trip for a farm dog like Otto, I think. The above photo is of Otto looking for his ball. We poked in the snow, dug, and kicked about for a long while with no luck.

When we got home, Otto needed a lot of affection so we sat on the couch together for a while and there was lots of hands on.

As much as I'm enjoying walking outside, it might be the cold that makes my joints feel worse. I felt quite crippled all afternoon. My arms and elbows especially feel stiff and not just stiff, but very weak. And, of course, I hobble about like an ancient person until I get moving. It's frustrating to me that not only is the joint problem persisting, but that sometimes it seems worse again. There doesn't seem to be any logic to it. Mind you, I've long stopped looking for "logic". If the Vitamin D boost was the reason for earlier improvements, I don't think it lasted, though I might be inclined to give it credit for the relative clearing of my brain. My mind still feels like it's operating on a much improved level compared to where it was before last week. I'm grateful for that.

I twisted off that last skin tag tonight! It was so ready to drop so I gave it a little help. All gone! Yeah!!

Tonight Laurel and I walked at the PAC (at the University). I, having been there twice by now, was able to show Laurel around. We walked for about 5,000 steps. Add that to my earlier walk and I did very good today! **a little pat on the back to myself** Once I get walking, you wouldn't guess that I have any joint problems at all. But the minute I stop, I start seizing up right away. When I got out of Laurel's truck, I shuffled stiff-legged all the way to the house. Unbelievable!! I just shake my head. I don't understand it.

I got comforting emails from Norma and Nora today. Norma told me of a friend of hers who experienced TJM (jaw problems) after she finished chemo, but that it eventually went away. Nora shared some heads-up experiences with Tamoxifen. I appreciate the information ... and the giggles. I'm always better off armed with information ... and giggles.

I should have got groceries today. Our cupboards are bare. But with the extra snow, I thought I would wait until tomorrow. And then, to top things off, a plough came down our street and pushed all the snow from the street up against any parked cars. It actually made things worse since were were all managing to get our cars in and out and maneuver the street since that big dump of snow ... until now. Digging out again!

Tomorrow ... groceries. And maybe those Christmas boxes? Don't hold your breath. I've been avoided them by giving my attention to some clutter in the family room. Clutter in our family room could take AGES to deal with!

Kevin and Otto have gone over to Dwayne's tonight so Otto can meet Dexter, Dwayne's bearded collie.

I have to tell you about the beautiful book that I ordered from Amazon and that came today. It's called Monday Hearts for Madelene and is by Page Hodel. Partial royalties from the sale of the book go to the Women's Cancer Resource Center in California. It's lovely and so is the story behind it. It's a Valentine Day present to myself. The following is copied from Amazon.ca.

When a person falls in love, the universe—and everything in it—come vividly alive. It happened to San Francisco artist Page Hodel when she found the love of her life, Madalene Rodriguez. She expressed her devotion in an unusual way: Early every Monday morning, Page would create a heart for Madalene and leave it for her to discover somewhere near her front door. Tragically, Madalene died of ovarian cancer less than a year after she and Page met. But Page’s love goes on, beautifully symbolized in the hearts she continues to create from a plenitude of objects.

I also bought the box of 20 assorted notecards depicting 5 of the images. After seeing these beautiful heart creations, I'll be looking in the pantry, drawers, cupboards, and the yard a little differently ... in a good way.

I Saw My Shadow. It was BIG! What Does That Mean?

Hugged By A Snowman

I love this snowman with his super extended arms and multiple fingers! He looks like he's going to hug the world! I saw him on 8th street while I was walking with Otto.

Day 2 on Tamoxifen. No hot flashes yet. Amen!

One skin tag left to exit stage left. The others are healing nicely.

Jaw - I thought I was in the clear and then an ache developed last night before I went to bed.

Joints ... disappointingly bothersome. I looked back through my blog, though, and realized that I am now just 2 months off Arimidex and not 2.5 months like I'd been thinking. That makes me feel a LITTLE better. Some women reported longer before the stiffness subsided. Yesterday I found my arms especially stiff and weak. This might have been because of the work I was doing in the house ... it probably just brought attention to it. Lifting the silver chest down from on top of the china cabinet had never been an issue before but this time I really struggled to lift it back up there in particular. And my left elbow really ached to bend it. My arms are pretty stiff today and no "exercise stiff".

Aside from all that nonsense ... the snow is pretty! Otto and I will go out for a walk in a little while.

I'm thinking of becoming a Macaron Master. Macarons (not to be confused with Macaroons) are the latest sweet treat craze since cupcakes and they appear to be VERY tricky to accomplish. Here's a tutorial that I've tucked away for the day I decide to try them. They're so pretty! While I was looking for information about them, I found other interesting stuff. If you want to try your hand at decorating cookies or cupcakes, the blog Sweetopia has the some very good tutorials and some amazing instructions for Olympic Mascot cookies.

Hugged By A Snowman

Monday Good Day

I've had a pretty good day today. It was good to tone things down a bit. If it hadn't been for Otto, I wouldn't have gone outside for a walk today but I thought it was important to get Otto out for a good walk so walk we did. We were out for about 45 minutes and I think it was great for both of us. We walked down to the river and along the riverbank for a bit and then down Sask Crescent where we stopped in briefly to say Hi to Laurel. Otto met Eddie, Ellie and Gus! We didn't stay for long since I was all bundled up. Walking with Otto takes a while because he is compelled to stop at every corner, pole, tree, fence, etc. for a good sniff and, often, to mark. We did not keep a steady pace, but that was just fine with me.

After that, Otto helped me dust and polish furniture. He only left my side when I brought out the vacuum. My joints were pretty stiff after walking. Maybe being out in the cold acerbates the stiffness.

No hot flash yet. Yeah!!

Monday Good Day

Tamoxifen - Day 1

This morning I start my Tamoxifen. It's the drug I'm to take for the next 5 years ... replacing the more effective (for my circumstances) Arimidex that I started but was unable to tolerate. Do your best, Tamoxifen! As for your worst ... please have mercy! I do fully expect the return of hot flashes, though. I hope they're no worse than previously, which were merely annoying and slightly disruptive. I know some people have worse experiences. I know they're a lot easier to manage if you're in the comfort and privacy of your own home and if you can whip off your hair whenever one strikes.

I'm happy to say that my skin tags were dropping like flies yesterday! I only have one of 6 left. I wonder where they go? I think I'll sweep, vacuum, and wash our sheets today. There are just little red spots where the 5 missing skin tags were and all but one of those are completely flat and look like they'll heal with nary a mark to show where they'd been. That's good.

Joints ... the same stiffness I've come to expect, though I wake up every day hoping to be more limber. It's too early to say for sure how they'll be for the day.

Last night I thought I felt a slight cold starting. This morning, it's hard to tell. I hope it's nothing. I've been so lucky in that department all considered. I haven't had a cold or a flu for over a year now. When you consider how vulnerable my health has been off an on during the year, it's amazing really!

Yesterday I was so tired. We went to Don and Syl's for a lovely dinner and then, after we were home, I tried to stay awake for the Grammy's but couldn't do it. Pink's performance was freakin' amazing! I wanted to see Elton John and Lady GaGa perform but I can probably catch it on YouTube. Of course, I could have PVR'd it but that didn't occur to me at the time. DUH!!

I had a nice, long, thought-provoking chat with Hannah last night. She always has interesting thoughts and ideas to share. Her brain must be stretched to capacity inside her skull for all the interesting stuff going on in it. She's so inspired by theoretical thinking ... and memory ... and knowledge ... and history ... and visual arts ... and writing ... and the art of printed formats ... and ... well ... lots of things ... and yet she's firmly pragmatic. It's a wonder she sleeps. She's doing just fine and is so looking forward to her trip to New York on the 12th.

We talked to Luke briefly, too. His team, the Bellarmine Knights, had their first exhibition game on Sunday. It didn't go as good for them as they had hoped. He said the team didn't play very good in general and his hip pointer injury made it hard for him to pivot. Pivoting is important in lacrosse, especially for an attacker, which is his position. He needs to do some healing yet. He would have gotten home at 4 or 5 this morning. A long, late bus ride.

Tamoxifen - Day 1