Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Mostly Good News

Before I record how much weight I lost since last Wednesday, let me first say that I know it won't continue to drop off so quickly and, in fact, I know it's not desirable to lose too quickly. That said, I was nonetheless VERY HAPPY to have lost 7.8 pounds!! I'll say 7 pounds because last week I was wearing jeans instead of the lighter pants I wore tonight. To see some immediate positive results is important to me and I'm so glad for the encouragement. Like I said, I had prepared myself to be happy with a few pounds this first week but I had a feeling it was more.

I rewarded myself with a trip to HomeSense to buy some natural wood conditioner and restorer by Howard that's available there right now ... good stuff ... I'm hoping to do every wood surface in the house (except the floors) over the next little while. I conditioned the butcher block a couple of nights ago with a Howard product and am very happy with how it turned out! Up until now I've oiled it regularly with mineral oil to maintain it and I'd read that adding wax is even better. I can say that, yes, it is. I've read good things about the Howard products. So that was my treat to myself!

I'm still so tired. It's a battle. I'm eating enough ... I'm definitely not starving. Not even hungry. In fact, I'm eating more at some meals than I did before. I've had a few nights of poor sleep so that doesn't help. Today I just could not keep my eyes open at work in the afternoon and had to lay my head down and snooze for a little bit. I don't think it was very long but enough to get me through the rest of the afternoon. Barely. I still have a slight cold, so that might be a factor. It also might be just "par for the course" after what my body has been through. That's what my oncological nurse suggested. I hope I my energy improves soon. When I'm especially tired, I have a much harder time maintaining my concentration.  Right now I'm working on a new website and moving information from the old website to the new one.  This is a lot more complex than it might sound.  Sorting it out so that all the pages and information link properly is a bit like taking all your jewellery, putting it in a bag, throwing it in the dryer and then trying to untangle it all. It requires a lot of concentration and some finesse. When I'm really tired, I find this kind of work much harder to do.  Hopefully I'll sleep better tonight and feel better tomorrow.

On a positive note, I'm cautiously optimistic about my joints. I'm still putting off seeing my doctor. I keep thinking I'll make an appointment and then I don't. It's because I THINK my joints are improving a bit. It's strange because the improvements aren't consistent. Just when I think I can legitimately say I feel improvements, I experience nasty pain and stiffness for a while. But overall, I think I can say that the bad bouts are less frequent and don't last as long when I have them. I think that generally I'm walking a little better. I can't explain why sometimes pain and stiffness strikes the way it does and then doesn't other times. I've given up trying to figure it out. But remember how eager I was to get some morphine to make me feel human again? Well, I'm a lot less eager to go that route now. I feel some hope. Maybe my oncologist was right and this side effect from the Arimidex will subside. Perhaps the Tamoxifen is causing some of the problem so I don't know if I can expect all the problems to go away but I would be happy with something more manageable than I've had. I feel like ... just maybe ... things are moving in that direction.

Another positive - I can touch my fingers behind my back. I can zip the side zipper on my skirt without having to turn it. I can lay on my back without any pain from the falling back of my shoulders. Little improvements. But encouraging.

Oh ... and Kevin says my bald spot at the back of my head has almost filled in.  Don't go thinking I'm hair happy yet because I'm not.  I reserve the right to be ungrateful about my hair.  While I'm glad it's growing back, I don't have to like the look of what I'm getting.  I hope time makes the difference, though I can tell it's going to take a lot longer than I initially thought. Bummer.  

Isn't it funny how the little leaves in this photo are all different colours?! Nature is endlessly interesting!
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