I didn't feel so great all week at work even though I slept good most nights and Tuesday night in particular I napped after work and then was only awake for a couple of hours before I went to bed and was down for the count. I felt rested when I woke up but then, mid afternoon, I felt more tired than usual. I could hardly keep my eyes open at work. I hate that feeling. For a long time I felt that way every afternoon at work. It was awful. This was reminiscent of that.
By the time I got home Thursday night, every step I took was painful. The bottoms of my feet hurt more than usual and my joints were rapidly becoming more and more sore. By 7:00, my joints ... fingers, wrists, shoulders, hips, knees, feet ... hurt so badly I was pretty miserable. I had been really looking forward to a get-together with a bunch of friends I used to work with at the "awful law firm". I had REALLY looked forward to seeing that bunch of people but I knew I couldn't go. I was just too miserable and in pain. It was bad enough that I lusting after morphine. I couldn't remember where I put the couple of leftover morphine-type pills that I'm pretty sure I kept on hand ... just in case. But I must have put them somewhere REAL safe, because I couldn't find them. I would have taken them if I could.
Thursday night was the worst my joints have felt since about 2 years ago when I was on Arimidex and I felt 100 years old and crippled. Why now? I do not know. I didn't take my Tamoxifen Thursday night. I just couldn't bring myself to take something that might acerbate the problem. That night I slept pretty good despite my discomfort. I woke up a few times aware of my aching bones but was able to go right back to sleep. And the next morning? Amazing. I slept late and when I got up my bones and joints didn't feel any worse than they do any other usual day. Everything felt what I consider my "new normal". Nothing worse. Amazing! I don't even know how I can go from feeling so much ache and pain one day to very little the next. All I can attribute it to ... and I'm just guessing at the only thing in my life that was different ... is the level of activity the weekend before without enough time to properly recover. I only skipped my Tamoxifen Thursday night and have taken it every night since and my joints still feel "normal for me". So I don't think it was the Tamoxifen ... at least not alone ... making me so miserable on Thursday night. So strange. I wish I understood it all. The main thing is that for the rest of the weekend I've had lots of rest and I feel back to usual self. My "new normal". Thank God! I never thought I'd be grateful for "new normal" but it's so much better than some of the other conditions that I feared would become my "new normal". This one is liveable.
Thursday night was the worst my joints have felt since about 2 years ago when I was on Arimidex and I felt 100 years old and crippled. Why now? I do not know. I didn't take my Tamoxifen Thursday night. I just couldn't bring myself to take something that might acerbate the problem. That night I slept pretty good despite my discomfort. I woke up a few times aware of my aching bones but was able to go right back to sleep. And the next morning? Amazing. I slept late and when I got up my bones and joints didn't feel any worse than they do any other usual day. Everything felt what I consider my "new normal". Nothing worse. Amazing! I don't even know how I can go from feeling so much ache and pain one day to very little the next. All I can attribute it to ... and I'm just guessing at the only thing in my life that was different ... is the level of activity the weekend before without enough time to properly recover. I only skipped my Tamoxifen Thursday night and have taken it every night since and my joints still feel "normal for me". So I don't think it was the Tamoxifen ... at least not alone ... making me so miserable on Thursday night. So strange. I wish I understood it all. The main thing is that for the rest of the weekend I've had lots of rest and I feel back to usual self. My "new normal". Thank God! I never thought I'd be grateful for "new normal" but it's so much better than some of the other conditions that I feared would become my "new normal". This one is liveable.
In addition to finishing the quilting on the farm critters baby quilt, I started getting fabric cut for wee Robert's baby quilt! FUN!
Kevin is, by all reports, having a crazy awesome time in Uruguay! They're in pretty remote areas much of the time so I haven't heard much. He did email yesterday ...
" ... just wanted to let you know we are good, just got out of the North last night. It was amazing, very poor, very beautiful, very wonderful hospitable people. Everyone is treating us well. Its like we stepped into a time warp and its about 1955. Have some amazing pics to show you and some amazing fish. Weather is smoking hot, 25 - 30 each day, we are getting tanned."
"we just got back from the cyber cafe (where we emailed you from) and they charged Dwayne and I 20 pesos (which is 1.00)for the 2 of us for 30 minutes. We only used 15 minutes so they wanted to give us change, or buy us a soda. We declined. It is amazing. Will try to call when we find a phone."
I'm so glad Kevin's having a great time and experiencing an unfamiliar environment and culture. It must be so interesting for him!
Speaking of Kevin (my handy man) being away, I had an especially heart-warming surprise yesterday morning ... late morning. I was sitting at the table eating my cereal ... still in my pj's ... hair looking like a twin peaks version of Krusty the Clown's hair style (tres bizarre - and unsightly) ... when I heard the sound of shoveling. I was only semi-conscious of the sound ... assuming my neighbours were shoveling their walks ... when I see out my kitchen window my brother Jim shoveling MY walk! Jim. Shoveling. My walk. MY walk. I was both astounded and grateful to tears! Thank you, Jim. My arm thanks you, too. That was so thoughtful and kind and so appreciated!
Last night ... Saturday night ... I went to see some Roller Derby with a couple of friends. I've been wanting to go since I first read about it in the paper about three years ago. Timing has been such that I haven't been able to get to it but knowing this was the last weekend to see any until March and since I was feeling better and ready to venture out in public again ... well, off to Roller Derby we went!
It was pretty fun! I had my new camera with me ... the one that's just a newer version of my old camera ... so I took a few photos. Mostly disappointing photos. I find that with this camera if there's any motion at all, I get blur. Our old camera while on automatic settings could handle motion very well. Next time I'll have to experiment with the settings to find one that will accommodate motion. And I'm not just talking about sporting action, I'm talking about trying to capture a photo of someone whose movements are more subtle. I didn't use to get any blur on those at all but with this camera I do. Nonetheless, I hope the following photos give you some sense of what Roller Derby action was like. Very fun! Erin said my Roller Derby name should be "Tamoxalot"! Ha! Laurie's is "Ram Bunctious", and Erin's is ... I can't remember what we settled on. At first it was "Bomb Malicious" but she chose a variation of that for her ultimate Roller Derby name. Maybe it will come to me ...
In this match it's the Saskatoon Killa' Bees against the Redneck Betties from Swift Current. "FN Star" visited with family and friends during half time. "Black Betty" is one of the refs. That's "Jazz Mean" in the bottom photos (after taking some brutal hits) being attended to by paramedics. It's definitely not a sport for the timid! And it's a great time. Check out their website and prepare to attend the next match in March.
We felt a little conspicuous without tats and fish nets! And more mascara.
You were at Durby too! I didn't see you! Thats too bad, Mikael me and my friend went last night to watch Mikael's friend from University (I think her name was Sara Curb-Stomping Coleshaw) If I had a durby name I think I could be Lick Rish Whip! My favourite names last night were Unicorn Thunder and Donna the Dead! Mikael even bought me knee high socks from the durby with manatees on them!
ReplyDeleteMy niece does roller derby in Kelowna. Her name is Rokc Rollya Over. It's too early in the morning for me to think of a good name of myself :)
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