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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Thinking, in particular, of Uncle Reg.
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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Patience is a Virtue I Need to Practice

Yesterday I quite literally spent the whole day on the couch with my feet elevated. ... napping off and on. I was a little unsure as to whether that was the best approach or whether I should soldier on and keep moving. As it turns out, I think I made the right decision to stay put. My ankles stayed relatively smallish and today my ankles and knees aren't very sore and last night and today I have no problems walking (what little I've done). Two nights ago I could hardly walk to get myself to bed, they hurt so much and my legs felt so weary and sore.

I feel much better today. I will again spend a lot of time with my feet up but I'll also work in a little more activity ... slowly ... patiently ... monitoring my ankles and heeding them. Yesterday looked so nice outside, I really wanted to get out there. Today also looks beautiful and I WILL get out there if only for a little while.

Patience is also needed for hair. Two nights ago I woke up in the morning after having dreamed about having short curly hair. In my dream, I found myself among a crowd of people and I had just removed my hat and found I had a fairly nice cap of curls on my head. Upon closer observation, there were some very thin spots here and there and I felt slightly self-conscious but ultimately decided to wear my thin curls with confidence. Patience. Hair will come. Hair is coming ... slowly ... slowly ... slowly.

I have appointments this Friday to get my stitches out and then to finalize my radiation treatment plan and to get some final mark-ups, whatever that means. I will start radiation treatments next Monday. On Monday I also have a bone density test. Busy ... busy ... busy ... patience ... patience ... patience.
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The Good Mayor - another book read

I recently finished reading The Good Mayor by Andrew Nicoll. Read more about it here at Amazon.ca. I really enjoyed the book , especially the honest and poignant observations about human nature. It has a quirky but sweet style and is a love story, though not in the harlequiny sense. Someone mentioned that it reminded them a bit of Stephen Leacock and someone else said it brought Amelie to mind (it being one of my favourite movies). I wasn't quite so enamoured of the last part of the story, I must say, but the first parts and the unusual story-telling style and beautiful writing made up for it. The author obviously has a love of language.

From The Globe and Mail review:
Nicoll caresses words. The story is full of sensual detail, of brass bands, fat night moths, dewy cakes – and snows “sweeping the town with frozen feathers that fell into the Ampersand with a hot hiss.” It takes place in an alternative mid-20th-century time frame of clattering typewriters, high heels and trams.

The story works because it is beautifully told.

That last comment is exactly how I feel about it.

Here is the publisher's blurb:
This magical debut novel is a love story. It is also a story of loss, magic, friendship, wonderful food, a brass band, an Italian witch, a large lawyer, an occasional dog and a car chase at a walking pace. Set in the little town of Dot in a forgotten part of the Baltic, it tells the life of Tibo Krovic, the good and honest mayor of Dot, and his love for his secretary, the beautiful, lonely — and married — Mrs. Agathe Stopak. In the quiet, respectable town there is nothing that Tibo can do about his love for Mrs. Stopak. Then one day, when she accidentally drops her lunch into a fountain, everything changes — and their lives will never be the same.
After Note:

How cool is this?!! The author, Andrew Nicoll, just emailed me and thanked me for my kind words!! WAY COOL!
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Monday, November 9, 2009

A Much Needed Quiet Day Today

It doesn't take much to wear me out, so it seems. I'm exhausted from doing only a little this weekend. No regrets, though. Today needs to be a very quiet, inactive day.

I'm also getting some new discomforts from, I think, the Arimidex ... the drug I take for the next 5 years that, as a side effect, produces menopausal symptoms. For the past two nights, I've had "night sweats". I wake up in the night with my chest sopping wet! ICK!! I also toss and turn a lot. The blankets are a jumbled mess on the bed, which is quite a change for someone who previously barely even moved during the night. I also find that I sometimes I get a suddenly very hot head during the day. The inclination is to rip my wig or hat off, which I can easily do (and I do) when I'm home alone but this isn't an option I'm comfortable with when I'm out or if I have company.

I didn't sleep well last night for the above reasons and I also found that my side hurt in the night no matter what position I was in ... much like the night after I had my mole removed. There was a bit of pinkishness around the stitches last night so Kevin put some polysporin and a bandage on it. I suspect I'll nap on the couch today.

The ankle report: They were looking good when I got up an hour ago but already they're quite puffy. The outlook is for less puffiness as the day progresses as I will be elevating those feet while napping on the couch! The cushions above are where my feet will be perched. It looks high but there are feather pillows so they smush down a lot!

Thanks for dinner last night, Don and Syl! It was nice to see you and your renovations.

We're thinking of Susan and wishing her a speedy recovery. Golf and tennis can wait until spring!
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Sunday, November 8, 2009

Yeah Riders!!

Our pal, Kevin, joined us for dinner and the Rider game. And the game was a goody! YEAH!!

Darrel and Lynn joined us, too. And Otto, of course. Otto being their very cute border collie who thinks he's a lap dog.

Kevin did up some great steak and potatoes on the barbie, Lynn brought a salad, I had a pretty desert and all was well with the world. Warning to everyone ... don't buy the brie with apricot filling at Sobey's. It was awful ... we had to throw it away. And when heated according to the instructions, it became really watery. Ewww!

Today, after we both had a long sleep ... man, we were both tired! ... we're moving about rather slowly, though I did muster the energy to make blueberry pancakes for breakfast this morning. I think we'll go out and run a few errands and then to Don and Syl's for dinner.

The ankle report: Puffy with a chance of more puffiness.

My knees are becoming increasingly sore ... probably from the edema and from the changes to my gait as a result of the edema causing undue and unnatural pressure on parts of my knees. Damn! Just another thing to fix later. My feet and the tips of my fingers are still very numb, too. It hasn't subsided at all. I hear it can take up to a year and, in some cases, it doesn't ever go away. That wouldn't be the end of the world as it's entirely liveable and just requires caution with temperatures and sharp things ... like knives and nail scissors.

By the way, I used real shampoo today!!! Necessary? Probably not, but it felt encouraging and smells pretty.



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Saturday, November 7, 2009

Hair. It's a Start

When I described my recent hair growth to someone, they likened it to PigPen from the Peanuts. I wish I could remember who said that because it perfectly describes my hair. I still look very bald but there's this sparse collection of hairs growing ... some dark, some light ... and not as long as Pigpen's but as thin. I can't wait for them to start filling in!

And since I exfoliated my head, I'm not this dirty!

Happy adventures in Vegas, Connie, Kelvin, Karen and Kevin!
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Here's what I'm doing today ...

GO RIDERS!!

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Flowers From Sylvia and the Story that Isn't

Thanks, Sylvia, for these! They are so pretty and were a nice touch, along with the gerbera's from Nosegay, for my splurge party. It was so thoughtful of you and a very nice surprise at my door when I came home from the grocery store.

Yesterday Lou took me for lunch at Truffles. I hadn't been to Truffles since they moved downtown. What a nice place! My sandwich was especially good and the environment was very relaxing and quiet. It was so nice to spend some time with Lou catching up on work related things and our lives in general. Thanks, Lou!

It was so nice out yesterday and I didn't really notice the wind until I got downtown where the buildings can create little wind tunnels. When I got out of my car, I suddenly felt my wig start to lift. I clutched it lickity split and held it securely on my walk to Truffles. I'm so glad I'm not here telling you the "funny story" of how I chased my wig down the street as it rolled in the wind like a tumble weed ... over the lunch hour when the downtown area is full of people. I'm so glad that's NOT my story!
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The Kindness of Strangers

During this nasty cancer ordeal, every day I'm at least reminded of the kindness and care of family, friends, colleagues, neighbours, health professionals and even people I don't know or don't know well.

These beautiful gerbera daisies are from the kind people at Nosegay who, knowing my story, sent these to me with Sylvia who had stopped in to buy me some flowers.I think it was Bridget and Nancy who sent them.

Thank you so much all of you at Nosegay! I love the flowers and am very touched by your kind and caring hearts.

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You Gotta Love Help Like This!

When "Cindy" said she'd come by early last night to help me get ready for Splurge Club, I wondered what the story was with the name "Cindy"! It wasn't until she arrived that I realized "Cindy" was short for "Cinderella"! How funny and how sweet! Bonnie had been thinking of my story of how I used to hate doing dishes so much that I would save up a week's worth and then don one of my bride's maid dresses to do them. I would pretend I was an ill-fated princess. Somehow it made household chores a whole lot easier to face when I was glammed up. So here is Bonnie, as Cinderelly, sweeping my cinders.

Karen came as "Cindy", too. Her little tag says, "Cindy dressed up for Hallowe'en"! Isn't she clever? They're so funny! The two of them did dishes for me while I had a bath and got dressed for the party (they did dishes after the party, too!). I was so sweaty after working away in the kitchen over those jalapeno poppers (see photo below) and I was a little behind schedule and my edema was slowing me down a bit, too, so the help was timely and much appreciated as was the glass of wine they poured for me!

The rest of the splurgers arrived and ... get this ... they each brought food for our freezer!! Lasagnas, casseroles, pork cutlets, moose sausage and antelope roast (Gail's husband shoots anything that moves, she tells me), homemade buns, wine ... and more. What a wonderful bunch of splurge buddies I have!! We'll be thinking fondly of each of them on those days when I'm beat down by radiation and Kevin's tired from work and yet there will still be a hearty and healthy meal for us at the end of the day. Kevin is SOOOOO grateful, too! Bonnie, the dutiful "Cindy", kept running up and down the stairs taking items to my freezer!

These Jalopeno Poppers are what took me some finessing in the kitchen. It's a recipe from my new cookbook (by the Pioneer Woman ... the woman whose blog I follow because she so amuses me).

I had never worked with jalapeno's before and had to wear plastic bags on my hands ... very clumsy ... and it took me a while to prepare them, though they're very easy to make and I'm sure others are faster at the japapeno prep part. Until yesterday I hadn't known that all the "heat" in jalopenos is from the seeds and membrane so I was quite diligent about getting rid of all the seeds and such before stuffing them. Apparently I wasn't as diligent as I thought, though. The first one I had didn't have a spark of heat. I was almost a little disappointed. But, the second one must have contained a couple of errant seeds because it was so hot that Cinderella had to get me a class of milk which I would hold by the mouthful in my mouth for as long as I could to relieve the burn. I think I was the only one who got a firey one. I think they were good, though. Kevin liked them and he would have told me if they were duds. If you want the recipe, send me an email.

The other thing I served that I think was especially good is a relatively new flavour of Boursin Cheese (cranberry and pepper) and I served it with cut up pieces of cranberry bread (from Sobey's) and Margeret's Artisan Crisps (in Cranberry Pumpkin Seed and Goji Berry Pistachio flavours and available at Sobey's). Very easy and very yummy.

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Friday, November 6, 2009

Busy Day

This is the butcher block island thingie I bought with my splurge club winnings and tonight I host my splurge club where someone else will win. My splurge club pals so kindly offered to bring all the fixin's so I wouldn't have to go to any work, but I already planned a menu and I have the stuff and I'm looking forward to hosting. It will be a busy day. Thanks, Kevin, for sweeping and washing floors last night and for the other cleaning you did, too.

I have a lunch date today with Lou and Dwayne and I need to make a stop at the liquor store because I'm having a drink or two tonight, yes I am!

Unfortunately, I woke up to quite puffy ankles today. DAMN! I had hoped I was making progress in that department. Apparently not really. Today ... compression socks and I'll try to take some time to elevate. Right away, I think ... just to see if it might make a difference before I start getting busy.

Happy Birthday to Erin's Mom who is 90 this week and to her Dad who was 95 last month. And they both still live in their own home and garden and cook and work out and shovel snow. Wonderful!
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Thursday, November 5, 2009

Another Book Read

While in Vancouver, I read Little Bee by Chris Cleave. It was very good and I recommend it. I hadn't heard of the book before being drawn to it in the book store. I knew nothing about it and, luckily, it turned out to be a gem. Just to wet your appetite, from the book jacket ...
"This is the story of two women. Their lives collide one fateful day, and one of them has to make a terrible choice, the kind of choice we hope you never have to face. Two years later, they meet again ..."

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Could It Be? I'm Feeling Better?

I think it's true! I think I feel better as the days pass. Again this morning my ankles are near normal. Last night they were puffy but not as puffy as they had been. The rest of me feels better when the edema is reduced.

My side is tender where the mole was removed and where that unidentified pain is. I've doubled my dose of acyclovir just in case it is shingles I'm battling. Acyclovir won't necessarily stop shingles from developing but, taken in advance, it might significantly minimize it.

Last night I slept well ... discomfort wasn't a problem. Still, though, I woke up too early feeling hungry so I got up and had breakfast at 6:00 and read for a while before falling back to sleep on the sofa.

Last night ... another night at the car wash! My car, which doesn't get so much action, was filthy after having just sat on the street since before we left for Vancouver.

Today I'm dedicating myself to giving this house a little spit and polish. It's looking a little murky.

This is a more complete view of the Monkey Puzzle tree. It's it strange?!

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Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Very Prickly

Here is a close-up of one of the two Monkey Puzzle trees that stand outside the hotel we stayed at in Vancouver. I find them fascinating! I'd never seen one until we oved Hannah to Vancouver 5 years ago. While I was taking pictures an older gentleman stopped to tell me a bit about them. He told me that there's a mating pair on Vancouver Island that supply a lot of the world with seeds. They're native to some places in South America.

I didn't sleep so well last night because I was uncomfortable. No matter the position I tried, I ached on my side. I relocated to the couch at 4:30 in the morning and read for a while. It felt better to be propped up and I can't prop very well in our bedroom because we don't have a headboard on our bed. I think I want to get one of those. I was so tired, I did sleep and I just woke up a little while ago. Because the mole area overlaps the area that was already so sore, I can't tell which is hurting. I'll try tylenol if it bothers me tonight. I'm a reluctant user of pain killers unless I really understand the pain. I don't like masking pain if I think I need to be able to pay attention to it.

Generally, though, I think I feel not to badly today.

The ankle report ... MUCH thinner than last night. Almost normal. I'd be very excited except I'm quite sure it won't last.

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Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Tall and Thin in Our Dreams

See? Tall and thin! Both Kevin and I.

Today was an oddly uncomfortable day. I felt sick to my stomach for most of the day but then had a horrendous series of ripping burps and felt much better! What's with that? I've never had that happen before.

The freezing is out and I'm just taking it easy ... trying not to touch that area or move too much. I spent some time with my feet up. My ankles remain ginormous.

Last night Kevin encouraged me to come out of the house with him. He tempted me with the new Home Sense, which opened while we were away. So we went there, where we were happy to bump into Wanda, Remi and Katie. We had just seen Wanda and Remi at the airport last week. They are EVERYWHERE! It was very cheering to chat with them. We then went to Home Depot to buy light bulbs and then ... our romantic thing ... through the car wash, this time with dark chocolate to nibble on. We do have the life, don't we?! That was my pre-mole surgery outing. We talked to Luke last night, too. All's well with him and his pals! They had a very fun Halloween weekend ... dressed as a gynecologist. Wah??!!! I asked him how that worked for him but I don't think I want to know and I'm glad there are some things he chooses not to tell me.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring. Every day is a new adventure. Cancer isn't for everyone, you know.

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A Mere Shadow of Myself

This is one of the photos I was glad to have recovered. Thanks, Lori!! This is me waiting on the sidewalk for Kevin to come out of the corner store. I like this photo of me for several reasons, one being that I look so tall and thin. I mostly like that it's the opposite of how I feel. Right now I feel like my face is the biggest part of my body (my face and my ankles, that is). Here it's the smallest. A veritable pinhead! Me? Yes. ME!! There is no evidence of my extra double chins or moon face in this photo. In fact, I look dark and maybe even dangerous. What a contrast to how I felt that day as I inched along the sidewalk, toddling ... looking like a walker might in order. Pardon my vanity, but this is my current favourite photo of me.

This morning I had the unfortunately positioned mole removed. Kevin came with me for moral support. You would think "procedures" would get easier when you've been through so many but I find it just makes it harder. This one really was no biggie but I confess to being a little babyish about it when I wasn't at all silly about the one I had removed in December before all this cancer business raised its ugly head. That one I went to on my own and drove to work right after. This time, it was nice to know Kevin was there. I was home and back in bed before 8:30. Sans mole.

I talked to the doctor about the pain I have in that same area and after checking it out, his best guess was the beginnings of another dose of shingles. He ruled out bone and muscle pain issues and it's not a lump. It's slightly swollen but there's no infection and it's very typical of the place and the way shingles might start. Let's hope it's not that. I'm starting my acyclovir today again just in case. Shingles. Wouldn't that be just great?! NOT!!

As for my edema, the doctor thinks it's fall-out from the prednisone and the chemo. This supports what Addie (Sylvia's go-to cancer specialist) suspects. (Thanks, Addie!) Addie's feelings are that I will probably just have to ride out the edema and wait for it to subside on it's own and that she wouldn't be surprised if I still had edema a month from now. As long as I understand it, I can deal with it and, between Addie and my doctor, I have enough information to at least quell my fretting. So, I'll just have to be patient for slimmer ankles and hope there's no snow for a while because I won't be getting into boots any time soon.

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Monday, November 2, 2009

Lori to the Rescue!

My cousin, Super Lori, swooped in with her tools and tricks and was able to recover my lost photos!! I AM THRILLED! It's not that there were so many or that they were SO special, but they were ones I had planned on using.

THANKS SO MUCH, LORI! YOU ROCK!! You also brightened my day!

This is one of my recovered photos. I told you that I was fascinated with all the leaves in Vancouver. Here is a beautiful ruby one close to our hotel. I didn't even have to pose it.

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Me Mom Stopped By

Mom stopped by and that was nice. She's in town for Allan's birthday celebration.

I've been a bit blue today, which is understandable. Back from holiday ... jumping back into medical treatments and all that they entail. Bummer. And I am bummed. I need just a little time to buck up ... find my big girl panties. I might have thrown them away. They're damned ugly! When this is all over and I start feeling like a woman again, I'm buying some really pretty ones.
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Home From Vancouver. Sadly.

Yesterday was our last day in Vancouver. It was a beautiful, sunny day. Here is a rare photo of Hannah with her hair down. It's always shocking to see how long it is! We visited Hannah's apartment, went for coffee and then stopped in at Eugene Choo, the little fashion forward shop where Hannah and Leah work. And then, after a quick stop at a big fish store, it was to the airport from which we eventually made our way home. Thanks, Don, for picking us up at the airport.

I have a major disappointment this morning. Yesterday I took a lot of photos and only this one of Hannah transferred. The rest have been LOST!! That's never happened before!! And I had some good ones, too. I'm VERY DISAPPOINTED. I don't know how that happened!! (My bad. I think I just figured out what I did. I must have accidentally clicked on "import selected photo" instead of "import all" and, in additional, I had selected "remove all photos from camera after importing". A mistake I won't make again. I'm so mad at myself!!).

So, a little reflective analysis of the trip ... spending time with Hannah is medicinal! It was wonderful! It was also great to meet bunches of her friends. We had such a good time with them all.

On the health front, the trip was somewhat disappointing, though I'm forever going to let the good stuff override the disappointing stuff. I had expected to be feeling better than I was while in Vancouver. I hadn't counted on the edema and the way it makes me feel. It really limited my mobility. Walking with me is like walking with a one-year-old. That's how fast I move. Bless Kevin for his patience! And walking uphill ... well, a 1-year-old could easily escape me and be gone forever! Man, oh, man, it's frustrating ... this moving at a snail's pace.

While my edema was considerably better some of the time we were away, by yesterday it was just as bad as when we left. My feet and ankles were very puffy when I woke up yesterday morning and the only thing I can attribute it to is that Saturday was the only day I didn't wear compression socks. I wore a skirt and tights because my feet were their least puffy that day. Maybe that was it? I don't know. But after 7 days of lasix and lots of putting my feet up, they are still basically where they were two weeks ago. That's disappointing. It wouldn't be so hard mentally if I understood the cause, but nobody seems to know and the lasix isn't really making a difference. I thought it might even slowly go away on it's own but there's no sign of that yet.

While in Vancouver, probably because of all the activity during the day, I had less endurance than I've had at home. That was a little disappointing. I had to wisely forgo most of the evening activities in Vancouver. I slept a lot and usually napped in the afternoon, too.

I also get a lot of inexplicable pains. I didn't use to get things like that. If I felt a pain, I would look and usually I'd find a bruise there to explain it. Now, I'll get a pain and look and there will be nothing to show for it and no logical explanation for it either. I'm not used to that. Yesterday morning I woke up with a painful area on my left side under where my bra strap goes and radiating down my ribs a bit. It felt like a bruise but there was no surface bruising to explain it. The pain got worse as the day progressed and last night I couldn't sleep on that side. It's very sore today. What in the hell is it???!!

Oh well ... tomorrow I get a mole removed ... the one that could otherwise complicate radiation. A week later ... radiation. Hopefully we'll be able to figure out this edema or maybe it will disappear on its own. If so, I wish it would hurry up!

I'm so sad to have lost my photos! There were some goodies ... Hannah's apartment ... Cody the morning after Halloween ... autumn leaves ... monkey puzzle trees ... Eugene Choo ... Kevin and I silhouetted in an array of autumn leaves! RATS!!

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Sunday, November 1, 2009

Hallowe'en in Vancouver! SO FUN!

Yesterday morning, Kevin and I met Hannah and two of her friends, Shaunee and Jared, for breakfast at Nice Cafe. Here's Hannah and her friends outside the restaurant. Which of these three is in costume? Well, how would you know, right? I can tell you that Jared would be mortified if someone thought this was his "real look".

It was a beautiful, sunny Saturday in Vancouver and Halloween costumes were EVERYWHERE! It was so fun to see. Maybe because so many people walk or use public transit and aren't all tucked away in vehicles, you really get to see a lot of costumes. There were some great ones, too. I wish I'd been able to take pictures of all the wonderful ones we saw.

Last night we went for dinner with another bunch of Hannah's friends ... Ado, Josh and Nina ... and then went to the Orpheum theatre to see Nosferatu, which was SO FUN!! Hannah is wearing a tuxedo that is over 100 years old, which is why it has faded to a greenish colour. My Mom only had to tailor and fix the jacket a bit, though it took her a lot of time to do. The rest fit Hannah perfectly. Mom even remembers the name of the man who wore this tux on his wedding day. Her friend, Jill, is with her in the photo above. She hadn't had time to costume up. She only recently returned from Iceland with a few of Hannah's other friends. Surely I don't have to tell you who Hannah is costumed as. And, no, it's not Hitler!

What an environment the Orpheum theatre is! The theatre is amazing inside. Grand architecture. Ornate staircases going in all directions, almost like the Escher drawing ... and they all meet on the main floor. Kevin even saw someone he knew there - Kelly Homenick and his girlfriend! Kelly was dressed up as a nerd, Kevin didn't think he was dressed up at all except that he had a 7-Up button on of which his dad would have been proud! After the show, it was especially cool to stand in the lobby and watch everyone slowly coming down the many staircases in their costumes. It really let us see admire all of the costumes and they were fabulous! The film was funnier than I had expected, mostly because of the "silent film" level of expression and the orchestra was splendid. Then everyone spilled out into the street and it was an opportunity to enjoy MORE costumes. This Van Gogh and Painting costume was an award winner.

We made our way to a bar across the street from Hannah's apartment. I only stayed for a short while before walking the block to our hotel. On the way home, I saw a bunch of serious bikers all biking together dressed up in costumes. Cool! I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Kevin was smitten with this bike we saw outside of Nice Cafe. Very cool!

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