Here's the Trick ...

... to not noticing your aches and pains. Just be too busy and then too exhausted!

Yes, it was a very busy but satisfying day. It was the launch and reception of our museum exhibit, "Building Community", at work. Very posh. Very dignified. Very fancy schmancy. Lots of dignitaries. Lots of flags. Lots of cameras. But, among all that official business, very warm and collegial. Good food, too. I regret that with all the activity, I didn't get some particular group photos of people who worked on the exhibit while they were wearing their finery. Everyone looked so lovely, they ought to be in pictures! Lots of pictures!

That was my day. My evening was involved preparing for tomorrow's full day conference on the same topic. I'm whipped and it will be an early morning.

Aches and pains? I haven't had a moment to think of them. Maybe that's the trick?

Here's the Trick ...

Blogging Days Are Winding Down

The plan was to quit daily blogging when I started back to work. That was a while ago. But, silly me, I thought that would correlate with the time when my "breast cancer days" would be OVER! Not so. Like I said ... SILLY ME! While I've come a long way and I'm seeing steady improvements, I didn't understand at the time that Breast Cancer really is a life sentence. At least that's what I feel like now. Maybe someday I won't, but I think that day will be a long time coming I now know. It will still take a long time to get my life back and what form that life will ultimately take, I'm not even sure yet. I'm confident it will be a good life but what I will look and feel like in it is not clear to me. All will be revealed. Some day.

So, since my breast cancer issues didn't end when I started back to work and it's still not OVER, I decided to continue blogging until a full year was up. Then it can be a "year in the life" blog. That day is fast approaching! I'll be done blogging regularly in early June. Working and enjoying the summer ... being outside that bubble I lived in most of last year ... doesn't allow much time for sitting at a computer. That's a good thing, I think.

Still, though, since I still have some issues to work through, I will blog quite regularly as the spirit moves me. My purpose will be mostly to document my improvements, set backs (yes, there will still be those, I'm sure), medical experiences, doubts, new research results, and so forth. It's already proved to be a great resource for my diminished memory. I can always look back through my blog to recall exactly what I was experiencing when.

And sometimes I'll blog other things about my life because ... well, because I can!

While this doesn't mean my "game" is over ... apparently, it's not the ending kind of game ... nonetheless, I'd say WE'VE WON!! I declare us the winner!! There. It's decided!!

I want to thank my team for supporting me, helping me, encouraging me, listening to me, laughing and crying with me. You've made a world of difference to me in getting through this awful thing. I'm eternally grateful. We'll have a party when I have more hair. I want more hair for my party, that's all. If I'm slimmer and more fit, that will be a bonus, but I'm only going to hold out for hair. I don't want to set myself up for too many disappointments.

So ... in a couple of weeks ... we can ALL get a life and stop reading about ME. I'm so sick of me! You must be, too. It's time to enjoy summer. And life.

Blogging Days Are Winding Down

Classy Chicken Recipe

This is our family's favourite meal. My kids love it. Last night I had enough leftovers to fill a casserole dish that would normally feed 4 of us. This morning the dish was empty. Luke ate it for his late night snack. ALL of it! OMG!! I never did get a photo of it! Next time.

Here's the link to the recipe at the Best of Bridge website. You can read the reviews and some variations. I have variations of my own. I'll include them with the recipe here.

Classy Chicken
(B of B - The Best of the Best, Vol. 1: Page 215 and B of B - Winners: Page 85)

Ingredients:

• 3 chicken breasts, skinned & boned
• 1/4 tsp. pepper
• 3 Tbsp. oil
• 1 - 10 oz. (280 g) pkg. frozen asparagus or broccoli (I use a mix of fresh broccoli and cauliflower)
• 1 - 10 oz. (284 ml) can cream of chicken soup
• 1/2 cup light mayonnaise
• 1 tsp. curry powder (I use about 3 tsp or more of hot curry powder - the 1 tsp provides so little curry flavour, I wonder if anyone would even guess it's curry.)
• 1 tsp. lemon juice
• 1/2 - 1 cup grated cheddar cheese (I don't use any cheese - it tastes cheesy without it!)
  

Instructions:

1. Cut chicken into bite-sized pieces and sprinkle with pepper. Saute quickly in oil over medium heat just until opaque (don't overcook - the chicken will get tough! Drain.
   
2. Cook asparagus or broccoli until crunchy. Drain and arrange in bottom of buttered casserole. Place chicken on top.
   
3. Mix together soup, mayonnaise, curry and lemon juice and pour over chicken.
   
4. Sprinkle with cheddar cheese and bake, uncovered, at 350F (180C) for 30-35 minutes.
   
5. Serves 6

This can be assembled ahead of time, refrigerated or frozen, and cooked later.

Classy Chicken Recipe

Finding Colour

We don't have much for colour yet in our yard so I took my camera when we stopped by Don and Syl's tonight. They have colour. Of course!

It was such a nice night to do a family ice cream run to the very busy Dairy Queen on 8th! It was a great opportunity to visit with Ruth and Nicole who were in line, too. And then, on the way to the car with our treats, we bumped into Claire and Ted and stood around chatting for a while.

Some tv and then to bed.

Finding Colour

Aches and Pains and Other Stuff

Last week was a heavenly reprieve from my usual aches, pains and general body stiffness. It was a bit unsettling, then, to experience some increased stiffness since Saturday. It's not as bad as it was before but I do have some brief moments of robot walking every now and then and a little knee soreness. I wish I understood how that could happen after almost a whole couple of weeks of relief. I'm baffled and am simply hoping that I'll be back to being limber tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that. Or that day after that. Or ... well, you get the idea.

I had a shoulder and lymphedema massage today. Since my massage last Friday, my left shoulder has actually been more sore. Just so you know, I'm not whining. I'm documenting. It's been acutely sore ... like a pinched nerve right on the front edge of my shoulder bone. And then today especially, my left arm was weak from the pain that starts at my shoulder and runs down my arm beside my elbow. It had been so much better over the past 3 or 4 weeks. My massage therapist really worked on all of that and it does feel marginally better. The good news is that my range of motion in my left arm hasn't decreased and my right arm is improving greatly! Even I was surprised at how high I could lift my right arm today. YEAH ME!! I'm sure my left arm will continue to improve, too. This is just a temporary blip.

This week is BIG at work. We have the launch of our museum exhibit and reception that follows. It's quite exciting! I heard today that, so far, 48 school groups have made bookings to tour the exhibit. It's open to the public starting on Wednesday. You might want to see it yourself. Here's a link to information about it.

On Wednesday, we're hosting a one-day conference: "Building Community: Co-operative Strategies and Experience". Here's the link to information about that. It will mean a very early start to what will be a full day. I'm both worried and looking forward to the test of my stamina. I'm going to need to buck up if I'm going to get all I can out of the conferences in Ottawa and Montreal in June.

The rose is growing on one of Don's plants that is under protection in their gazebo, awaiting planting. So pretty! Don and Syl cut it and gave it to me. Thanks!

Aches and Pains and Other Stuff

Beautiful Busy Weekend

It was a very busy weekend. A good weekend. Just busy. Luke's Saturday night lacrosse game started well after I was already toast for the evening but I went anyway and yawned through all the hard-hitting lacrosse action. At least it doesn't hurt to yawn anymore. My mouth is feeling much better. Still a little mushy where that tooth used to be and still slightly tender but no big deal. The boys lost their game, which went very late due to some silly fighting.

Sunday started earlier than usual for us, too, because my cousin Terry Howe was in town and we invited him over for brunch. He had suggested we go out but we didn't have much time before Luke would have to be out the door to get to his Sunday lacrosse game and we would be right on his heels. So it was Saskatoon berry pancakes and bacon at our house and a nice visit with Terry on the deck before we zipped away to Luke's lacrosse game. They lost this game, too. That goalie was hard to get past! In all fairness, they were playing the top-ranked team in the league. Hopefully they'll beat them next time after they've had some time to work some more kinks out of their play.

Then, since the time felt right and I was on a role and had the necessary ingredients on hand, we invited Kevin's parents over for dinner. I was making Luke's favourite meal and so I just made a lot of it. It's that classy chicken recipe from the Best of Bridge but I make it with fresh broccoli and cauliflower instead of asparagus and I use extra curry and no cheese. I'll post the recipe here sometime. It really is delicious and I'm sure you would like it.

And then, after clean-up, I had a nice, long conversation with Berny. I can't tell you how much comfort I get from talking with someone who has been through the same awful regime. Comparing notes, sharing information, and commiserating is very satisfying somehow. We also laugh at the some of our shared experiences in the way you laugh instead of cry. It's good. Trust me.

And then ... well ... the Survivor finale! I just KNEW Russell wouldn't get any votes!

This gorgeous flower, by the way, blooms on Don and Sylvia's inherited hanging "orchid cactus". Isn't it something! Stunning! If you're interested, you can learn more about them here.

Beautiful Busy Weekend

She rides again!

Having air in the tires makes a remarkable difference!

She rides again!

Let Me Introduce You To Tiger Lily

Tiger Lily would be my bike! She didn't see the light of day all last year, oh woe is me. But she's out now. I just took her for a little spin around the block and I must say it FEELS GOOD! Next stop is the Co-op on Broadway to plump up the tires a bit.

I'm so relieved that my shoulders are good to go on the bike! I'll be testing it out this weekend and, hopefully soon, will have worked up to riding it to work.

I had a good day at work yesterday once I got going. I had hoped to do something fun in the evening like go to a movie, which we haven't done for ages, but by 7:30 my stomach was feeling a little off and I was very tired and so we rented "Pirate Radio" instead. By the way, we love the idea of the movie and there are some of our favourite actors in it, but all-in-all, it was lacking. Too bad.

My stomach troubled me a bit all through the night so I didn't really get moving here until after 11:00. It seems better now. It was probably just a plain-old upset stomach and nothing cancer or cancer-treatment related at all. I realized yesterday that having aches and pains and ills aren't always going to be related to this cancer business, just like they weren't before I had cancer. Believe it or not, that's an interesting concept to wrap my head around at this point. Hmmmm ...

Kevin is doing yard work. It's exciting to see the pots and deck furniture emerging. I can't wait until there are flowers! Soon ...

And now ... time to enjoy the day.

If you're looking for some evening sporting action, be at Kinsmen Arena by 9:00 to see the Saskatoon SWAT (box lacrosse) in action against the Calgary Mountaineers. That's where I'll be come hell or high water.

Let Me Introduce You To Tiger Lily

Safe Gardening

Thanks so much for these, Chris! I have never been one for wearing gardening gloves. I prefer to get my hands dirty. I don't worry about my nails. But I've been told that now I'm supposed to be more careful and that I SHOULD wear gardening gloves. I'm to avoid cuts, scratches and insect bites in my left arm and hand because of my "compromised lymphatic system". Even though I didn't lose all my lymph nodes, apparently I'm still vulnerable and must be careful. These will be great! I really appreciate them, Chris. Gardening is just around the corner!

Today was a pretty good day. Maybe I wasn't quite as peppy as yesterday but still substantially better in general than I have been. I won't complain.

I was able to go to my splurge club meeting tonight. Usually splurge is on a weekend night and I've even had to miss many of those because I just don't have enough "oomph". But even though this was a Thursday night and I plan on working tomorrow, I felt I had enough energy to go! That's something! It was great to hang out with my splurge pals. I notice that my jaw is a little more sore, though ... all the laughing! Not so good for the jaw but very good for the soul.

And I won for July/August! When I win splurge, I always buy something for the house that I wouldn't have bought otherwise but that I love. I find that it reminds me of my splurge pals every day. It really does. My ottoman/bench in the family room ... the mirror in the living room ... the little table in the front hall ... my kitchen butcher block/island ... all these things remind me of my splurge buddies every day. One time I bought shoes and some other things with my splurge winnings but it's not the same, to me, as something more "permanent". I don't know what I'll get this time. Hmmmm ...

Safe Gardening

Feeling Alright!

Another good day. I feel good. My limbs feel good. I don't tire as easily as usual. I felt good when I woke up. Rested. After working for the afternoon, I didn't feel wasted in the afternoon and evening. I still had good energy. That's fantastic! I feel mostly normal! I'm not going to get TOO excited. I don't want to be too disappointed if I don't feel quite so good tomorrow. But I'm hopeful.

I had a shoulder massage this morning. My shoulders are making great progress, especially my right one. My range of motion is greatly improved from where it was 2 weeks ago. My left is coming along as well but has much further to go. The massage really helps. It still amazes me how much the massage therapist accomplishes with such slow, patient, gentle motion and manipulation.

It's exciting to see growth in the garden. Soon there will be some blooms.

Amazing that Montreal won that series, isn't it?! WOW!

Feeling Alright!

Girlishness

I have rarely felt "girly" through this whole breast cancer and more ordeal. I've always been girly so loss of my girlishness has been hard. Loss of hair and brows, moonfaces, buffalo humps, weight gain, limping, fatigue all make me feel a little androgynous. I want my girlishness back. Yes, wearing wigs, make-up and jewelery have helped at times but inside it all feels very phony in a way I don't think I would understand if I hadn't been through all of this. Feeling emotionally strong, I watched most of a documentary last night about a 38 year old woman diagnosed with breast cancer. She made a film about her ordeal. My heart broke for her (Did I cry for both of us? You bet I did!) ... especially hard to go through it all with a baby and a pre-schooler at home. She said a lot of things about her feelings that hit home and one that stuck with me was the uncomfortable feeling of not being "real" when covering your illness with wigs and make-up. I was glad I saw the film but it's not something I could have watched just any old time. Anyway, back to not feeling very feminine these days, it also doesn't help that I can't wear a lot of my clothes because I'm still too big and because my limited range of motion in my upper body means I can't wear anything structured.

So, today, I wore pretty shoes. Girly shoes. Heels. They don't show in this photo but they have straw wedge heels. Very girly. I need to redo my toenails, I see, but that's for another day. Now that I can walk better I feel good in heels. BONUS!!

Yes, today I'm still relishing being able to walk normally. It feels SOOO good! It makes me all the more impatient to get my arms back. And my hair.

I felt good today. Sure, my mouth is still tender but that will improve. I felt good at work and feel my brain engaging better. I don't know how to explain that part of all this, but there have been a lot of times when I've been very conscious of mental failings and limitations. My mind feels stronger and more agile now, which is good because I need that at work. It's a crazy, busy time at work right now so I'm going to try to push myself a little in that direction. I'm going to shoot for putting in more time. I know I have to do this carefully but I can't really know unless I try. And I feel ready to try.

Girlishness

Upgrades and Improvements

Here are my boys with their new toys! I guess there was a two-for-one deal. Figuring this out will keep Kevin amused for hours! Already Luke has given him some tutorials.

As for me, I still don't have a cell phone. Kevin said I could have his old one and just use a phone card payment plan but then I think you lose your minutes if you don't use them within an allotted time so I don't see the point ... at this point. There have been very few times when I've thought, "Gee, if only I had a cell phone". I'd rather spend my cell phone bill on my hair, thanks! I'm anticipating hair costs. That's a good sign. Perhaps a little ahead of myself. Ha ha!

Life got back on track for me again today after falling off the map for a week or so. Back to work. It's annoying to have lost that week because I was just starting to get on a roll again and feel like I was getting a work groove going again. I don't need anymore steps backwards, thanks.

My jaw aches a bit still. Tonight, in fact, I'm feeling a few electrical type pains zapping in the back of my mouth every now and then. It's not terribly painful but it does make me nervous and reminds me that I can't be complacent about rinsing, etc. I am NOT going back to that painful place. NO WAY. NO HOW!!

I'm almost giddy with barely subdued excitement about the feeling in my legs and hips! I'm trying not to get too excited but today I really noticed the improvement. Usually at work when I get up from my desk and start moving, I do my Frankenstein walk for a little while until my limbs limber up a bit. Today there was NO Frankenstein walk. None. Nada. Not ONCE! My legs feel lighter. A lot lighter. My joints feel so loose compared to how they were before. It's hard to describe. It's so notieceable that I'm aware of it with almost every move I make. My shoulders are still frozen. I don't expect that to change. But maybe it means they'll improve more quickly. I hope so.

Tonight, after sitting for a while and making yoyo's (I have 152 so far!), I could feel a little pain in my knees and a wee pull in my right calf but still better than usual. I didn't actually limp. My knees just hurt a bit. That is a big improvement and very exciting for me. I've been off all drugs (except tooth related ones) for 9 days now. I'll monitor my joints carefully for all of May and then decide if I'm ready to start back on Tamoxifen then or not.

I can also report that I think my eyelashes are, perhaps, back to where they were before I lost them all. I didn't have such long eyelashes in the first place. I think they're the one thing that has returned to normal. My eyebrows are still very sparse. More sparse than they were before. Strange. I have a few hairs above the mid-shin line now on my legs. Not many. Just a few. And still no armpit hairs. Wouldn't it be great NOT to get those back?! Recovery is a mysterious process.

Upgrades and Improvements

Amassing YoYo's

This past week while I was going through this awful dental misadventure, I was unable to read and I was unable to sew. The pain was just too awful. But the past couple of nights, I've been able to do both. YEAH! Back to growing my yoyo collection. I need a lot more than this to make a quilt of a decent size.

My mouth is still quite tender today. I don't notice it much unless I smile. Smiling is not good yet. I'm smiling inside, though, even if I look grumpy on the outside. That's why it's best that I not socialize too much yet because I'm just not down with looking grumpy.

I took a single morphine pill with a couple of tylenol at 8:30 this morning but haven't taken any of either since. I'm not one for popping pills in reality, though one might not guess that by how happily I've been gobbling them down. Without pain killers the pain is little more than discomfort at this point ... provided I don't smile. I'm carefully rinsing with warm salt water and, of course, keeping up with the antibiotics and the swish-and-swallow concoction.

My lower limbs continue to feel better. I'm cautiously optimistic. I stiffened up a little bit last night after sitting for a while but not nearly as much as usual. I've been doing good today, too. I reached a kitchen shelf I haven't been able to reach for months! That's happy progress.

Hannah and Luke both phoned today to wish me Happy Mother's Day! *sigh* I get all warm and mushy inside just thinking about them.

Luke is on his way home now from Calgary. They won their game today, too, though he's quite mad at himself. He says he can't hit the net for love nor money! He's used to playing field lacrosse where the nets are big and the goalies are small. In box lacrosse, it's the opposite. The nets are small and the goalies are decked out like michelin men! (I've added some photos here - which would you rather try to score in?). I believe it's one of the reasons why Canadian lacrosse players are so desirable in college lacrosse in the States. If they can hit the little available space in box lacrosse (which isn't as popular as field lacrosse in the States), they can be real ringers with a field lacrosse net. That's the theory anyway.

Awwww ... I'm looking forward to getting my life back this week. Last week was a total write off.

Happy Birthday, Cindy!

Happy Birthday, Mikael!

Amassing YoYo's

To All Moms Everywhere ...

I've been mothered by so many people this past year, I need to wish my whole team a "happy mother's day!". I needed mothering and that's what I got in spades! Thanks so much all of you for helping me through.

To All Moms Everywhere ...

A Boat For Him! A Mat For Me!

Oh, don't you see how happy we can be!

Here are the boys with their new-to-them fishing canoe. They've pimped it out with some decals. Pretty happy boys, I think.

They got a boat. I got a new bamaboo mat for our family room. Everyone's happy.

A Boat For Him! A Mat For Me!

Two Weeks Of Growth To Show

I know. It doesn't look much different than it did 2 weeks ago, but it is slowly ... very slowly ... getting a bit longer. The last couple of days, my hair has even wanted to make mini-ringlets at the side! Way to go, hair!! Keep Trying!!

Two Weeks Of Growth To Show

What A Difference A Day Makes!

The improvement is dramatic!! Holy WOW!! As today progresses, I feel better hour by hour. Even if I slump a little this evening, no matter. Feeling this good all over is such a change. And so sudden!

Last night Kevin and ventured out to Sharon and Kent's to meet up with Patty and Ron because we women had planned a sock monkey making venture. I wanted to go for at least a little while. Once I got moving, I realized how woozy I was. Dizzy. Not too stable. Probably the morphine. So I got myself seated as soon as we got there and, with Sharon's expert guidance with all things "sewing", we figured out to make sock monkeys from the rather sketchy and incomplete instructions. We didn't finish, but here's what I have so far. How exciting! One of my moneky's arms is much fatter than the other so I decided that this monkey has lymphodema. No jokes about the fluffy crotch. I just haven't sewn it up there yet. I've always loved sock monkeys but, as it turns out, only half as much as Patty! And why should we long for sock monkeys when they can't be that hard to make, right?

Despite the dizziness, I managed pretty good last night, all considered. If it hurt when I smiled, you can only imagine how much it hurt to laugh! In that regard, this was not such a good group to hang out with. It was not easy to maintain my frown. I was certainly exhausted when I got home and I slept like a rock, waking up once in the night to take some pain killers and antibiotic.

When I woke up, I had the usual post-dental pain ... maybe a little more than the usual, but still not bad and as the day has progressed, I've felt better and better, though I'm still taking morphine and tylenol along with the antibiotics because I'm terrified of returning to that pain! TERRIFIED! I'm a little nervous about running out of morphine but I really do believe tylenol will be enough to hold the mouth pain at bay now that the infection is being beat down by the antibiotics.

The other reason I'm feeling so good is that I have less aching in my bones, muscles and joints! Because I suspect that the morphine has something to do with that, too, and because I run out of morphine tonight, I've tried to do lots of house cleaning today ... because I CAN!! I can run up and down stairs ... no Frankenstein walk ... no warming up to movement ... I can get up and down off the floor without a crazy struggle ... my arms still have limited mobility but are much less painful and I can move them farther. What I notice most is that I have more strength! I really took to both bathrooms and did a much needed DEEP clean, which included getting down on my hands and knees and scrubbing the floors by hand. My reach for cleaning the tub and my strength for scrubbing with my arm extended is much improved! Quite remarkable really! Aside from a little aching in my mouth and jaw, I really feel better than I've felt in a very long time. It's almost easy to forget that I've been through the breast cancer wringer ... if I don't see my hair.

Thanks, Syl and Don, for the mini-rose bush! I haven't tried roses before and was thinking I might like to try some.

Luke is in Calgary this weekend playing lacrosse. They won their Friday and Saturday games and they play again tomorrow.  I talked to Hannah today, too, and she's walking on sunshine ... as she should!

While I was in my dark hole this past week, lots of growth emerged in the garden! It was such a surprise to walk outside today and find so much there. There will be blooms soon! How exciting!

I did have a nasty shock today when I opened the fridge to get some cottage cheese for lunch! ICK!! Right there beside my cottage cheese is a clear container of slugs!! They were moving! GROSS!! I phoned Kevin immediately to let him know how impressed I was and as soon as he answered the phone I knew it was useless because he was already giggling. He and Kevin Kaschl were out and about and laughing themselves silly as they were shopping for "decorations" for their boat. My finding surprise slugs in the upstairs fridge just made their day, I think!

What A Difference A Day Makes!

Mission Complete - One Less Tooth To Worry About

The offending tooth is gone! Not without a fight mind you, but it is gone. The dentist and the assistant marveled at the size of my roots! One broke off but it wasn't hard to fish out, I was told. The roots were each twisty and pointing in different directions making it really hard to get them out.

I spent an hour in the dentist's chair ... I got extra doses of freezing ... and was out an hour later with some extra gauze and some instructions. I was quiet shaky when I left, which is typical for me. My body goes easily into shock. No big deal. I was a little surprised, though, when a half hour later I could feel "a fainting" coming on. I'm used to that feeling, too, so I knew to get myself prone on the sofa asap. And then I slept for 4 solid hours. I took morphine and tylenol before that so a good, long sleep was the very best thing I could do for myself, I think.

I made sure I had a banana before going to the dentist and since then I've had a pudding. It takes a very long time to eat a pudding under the circumstances. It will be nothing but mushy food for the next foods. The dentist told me that yogurt would be especially good for my mouth.

I have the antibiotics to continue with as well as a prescription "swish and swallow" concoction containing nystatin, prednisone, and benedryl. This was prescribed by the doctor in Emergency and my dentist recommends I continue taking it. She explained that it would be subscribed to someone whose immune system might already be compromised because an antibiotic alone could leave such a person open to other infections. She gave "thrush" as an example. She was, by the way, able to speak with my oncologist before my appointment and they both agreed with the course of action. So all is good.

I tell you, the past week has been a total blur. All I've really done is deal with this pain. While it's the worst pain I've ever experienced, I'd still choose a couple weeks of it over breast cancer, that's for sure.

I wonder if the morphine hasn't helped with my joint pains, too, or has it just been overshadowed my my dental issues? Or is being off the tamoxifen making a difference already? Hmmmm ... time will tell ... or not.

I'm dizzy! I keep deleting the periods because they look commas. They're not commas, it's just my vision being a little fuzzy. I think it's time to lie down again.

I do have a date with some friends to make sock monkeys tonight. It might be unrealistic to hope I can still join them. But maybe for a little while.

When I'm feeling better and steadier, I'll be able to take photos again, too. Sorry my blog has been so visually dull. I've been feeling a little dull myself.

Mission Complete - One Less Tooth To Worry About

The Pain is Lifting. Sweet Relief!!!

Finally. Some relief!! I think the antibiotic started doing its magic this evening.

When I woke up this morning, my mouth was more painful than it had been the previous two mornings but not nearly as bad as the previous two evenings. I dedicated my day to taking morphine BEFORE things got worse. The pain stayed pretty consistently "uncomfortable" for the whole day but around 7:00 tonight, it started lifting.

Not only is there less pain, but I'm less dizzy, my hearing is improved (it doesn't sound like I'm underwater anymore), my throat isn't sore, and I can talk and eat better. YEAH!! It's good things are feeling improved before I get that tooth yanked tomorrow morning.

I'll keep you posted.

Thanks for your emails and calls, everyone! Your sympathy is much appreciated. Lori even had a tip for me that I was going to try if the pain got worse again tonight. She suggested packing my tooth with minced garlic. I've never heard of that before but I would have tried pretty much anything over this past week if I thought it might bring some relief. Thanks for the tip, Lori, but I suspect I'm going to make it to tomorrow morning's appointment without any further painful flare-ups. I'll put that tip in my back pocket for future reference.

The Pain is Lifting. Sweet Relief!!!

More of My Pain Saga

It's nasty when pain becomes "a saga" instead of an "episode". This is so nasty. I've never in my life experienced pain like this. It's agonizing. Excruciating. Draining.

Last night it got so bad that at about 10:30, Luke took me to Emergency. I was almost listless with pain ... or with morphine. I'm not sure. Besides making me groggy, the morphine I'd been taking since 6:00 didn't seem to be working. I was in severe pain. I was worried about the hearing in my left ear and the pain in the roof of my mouth. I could also tell that my gums back by my "dead tooth" were inflamed. I had fleeting thoughts of some infection spreading from my tooth to my brain or passing out from the pain and never waking up again. When I'm afraid to fall asleep (silly as it might be), I surmised it was time to go to Emergency.

Luke had just come home from lacrosse practice and had plans to go out with some friends but he promptly cancelled his plans and insisted on taking me to Emergency. You know what a lengthy wait that can entail, so I encouraged him to just drop me off and then go out with his friends but he refused and I thought it was very sweet of him to hang out in Emergency with him Mom for 3 hours. Shortly after getting to Emergency, I think the morphine started kicking in and I grew a little perkier, stopped crying, and was able to carry on a conversation, at least.

The Doctor said the inside of my mouth was inflamed and he put me on antibiotics and increased my morphine. He was very kind. By the time I got home at 2:30 a.m., the pain had subsided to a low simmer again ... thank, God!!!! ... and I was able to sleep. I woke at 9:00 and could feel the pain returning so I quickly took some more morphine and went back to sleep. When I got up at 12:00, I was feeling pretty good and took more morphine and antibiotics.

I needed to get my prescriptions filled and we still needed groceries, so Luke and I headed out. I had planned on getting groceries before Luke got home so that he would come home to a kitchen stocked with all this favourite things, but with the tooth issues, there were a lot of things that didn't get done as planned. By the time we finished getting through the check-out at the grocery store, I could feel the ache starting up again and I took morphine as soon as I got home at 4:00.

I was somewhat surprised, then, when the pain continued to increase. I took more morphine at 6:00. By that time, the pain had become debilitating. It was as bad as last night. I tried salt water rinsing, heat, ice ... nothing helped. It's now 11:30 and the pain has subsided just slightly in the past 15 minutes or so. I took morphine at 8:00 and then again at 11:00. I'm so tired and groggy ... probably exhausted by the pain but I'm sure the morphine contributes. I can hardly put two words together. It takes a lot of energy to form a sentence ... just to get my brain to put the words together and then to physically move my mouth to get them out. Best not to talk.

Kevin got home from Red Deer at about 10:30 and I think he's dismayed to find me in such a state and, of course, there's nothing he or anyone can do. It's so bloody miserable. I'M so bloody miserable. It really is the worst pain I've ever experienced. Hands down. I just want to sleep. Hopefully, I'll be able to do that soon. Soon. Soon.

What I've learned, I think, is to not ever let the pain get started. If I'd been carrying my morphine with me when we went to the store and took it as soon as I felt that first pulse of pain, maybe it wouldn't have taken hold. Maybe timing is everything. My goal is to hold that pain at bay all day tomorrow and until I get the tooth pulled on Friday morning. I have a feeling I won't feel so good after the tooth is removed either. A whole new adventure. Not the kind anyone wants, that's for sure!

More of My Pain Saga