Friday, September 18, 2009

I Feel like I was hit by a cement truck today!

Just a short update for those who are checking to let you know that I'm coming 'round after a very miserable day. (I now see this is a LONG update, but it was quick because I do type pretty quickly).

I cried all morning. Buckets. I had a bath to try to make myself feel better but just cried the whole time, nose running and tears dripping into my bath water. I can't lie back and have a good, soothing, soak because of having to keep my PICC-line arm out of the water. I was sure a miserable sight, I know. I just cried for everything ... kind of like that one day in the hospital. I cried for not recognizing myself in the mirror. I cried for hair. I cried for my swollen, red, itchy face. For the slow passing of these days. For all the personal little indignities that come with going through this process. I just cried and cried and cried. A total immersion in my own little pity-fest. I don't feel guilty. I'm pretty proud of myself for having so few days of crushing self-pity. I would bet that every person going through any similar ordeal would have, at least, some very miserable days no matter how optimistic and positive one otherwise feels. I deserved a pity party. I would worry if it extended beyond a day or two but I seriously doubt that will happen. I feel a little stronger emotionally tonight.

The Benedryl must have made me very sleepy. I slept solidly for a couple of hours this afternoon and woke up feeling less hot in the face and a little less miserable. Lynne chose an opportune time to stop by on her way home from work and she was a bit of a saviour for me, whether she knows it or not. I didn't even know it would be helpful to have someone stop by, otherwise I would have called someone. Honest. I would have. Not only did she distract me from myself with news of the world outside me but she picked my strawberries, which I'd forgotten. She washed and hulled them for me to snack on, and whipped up our dishes. Kevin was grateful for that, too. Thanks, Lynne.

Kevin prepared a nice pasta and salad meal for dinner. Thanks, Honey, even if the salad did taste a little yucky to me. I'm sure I would have liked if I'd have real tastebuds.

If I hadn't had to pee, I probably wouldn't have heaved myself off the sofa today at all. I just feel so whipped! As I said, it feels like being hit by a cement truck today.

My face is getting increasingly red, hot, swollen and itchy again and I've now taken a second dose of Benedryl. Let's hope it solves the problem or, at least, minimizes it. If nothing else, it will probably make me sleep tonight.

My Buddy, Luke, phoned and that made a big difference in cheering me up. I felt badly though, because I started to cry as soon as I heard his voice. I couldn't help myself. I hadn't talked to him for a while. But I soon got a grip and was able to reassure him that I was okay and that the medicine would be kicking in to save the day. He updated me on his life ... all is well. He's tired all the time from being so busy with classes, homework, workouts and practices. The boys are out to have some fun tonight, though. Good for them. Luke gave me a pep talk ... "almost there, Mom ... only one more to go". He's more knowledgeable than I would have guessed. He asked if I was drinking lots of water. I told him I was trying but that it tastes kind of yucky. He suggested I try lemon in it. I'll do that, Luke.

Now ... back to the sofa where there appears to be a permanent impression of me in the leather. When all this is done, I might just HATE the sight of this sofa and might need a new one to shake the heebie-jeebies. I might even need a whole new house. I hope we win that home lottery, Lynn!

Lyn (the Lyn with one "n" --- you know who you are) ... I'll look forward to your wedding stories and photos.

Speaking of heebie-jeebies ... Lori, I caught and released a spider today and thought of you. I "released" it straight into the toilet. I hope the itsy-bitsy spider story has some merit so I won't feel like a murderer.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone.

1 comment:

  1. Heather. I have just become aware of your online story and am just catching up. I'm with you, on your team. Your day today was so horrible that tomorrow must be better. By the way, the best vampire TV program was Moonlight, about a friendly vampire, but it was cancelled.



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