Monday, September 21, 2009

I Would Really Like to Call a Time Out

Our window boxes were a disappointment this year.  It's taken until September for the New Guinea Impatiens to show any blooms.  See the few peeking up? Next year I'll try begonias.  Our backyard is really looking shabby now.  The Nasturtiums are wilted.  The Virginia Creeper has shed most of it's leaves.  A lot of the flowers are in a state of decay.  Natch.  On the bright side, my sweet peas look pretty as a picture!

As much as I would like to call a time out right now, I know that I have no say in the rules.  No time outs.  Cancer waits for no one!  Neither do toxic drugs already coursing through your body.  There's just no stopping them ... which is a good thing, I suppose.  I'll try to convince myself of that.

After some really awful days, yesterday felt great in comparison.  I wouldn't say we pushed it, but I will say that Kevin and I took advantage of my feeling a bit better.  Kevin coaxed me into going to Home Depot.  I wanted to go but I felt quite self-conscious about the rash on my face.  I sucked it up and went anyway.  You know what felt heavenly?  Rain.  Rain on my skin felt so refreshing.  After Home Depot we stopped at Tastebuds for lunch.  My going to a place called "Tastebuds" might be perceived as wishful thinking. I did not find my tastebuds there, though.  My panini pretty much tasted like dust.   

Rex and Erin stopped by with some freezer meals.  Erin chose yesterday, which might well have been the hottest day of the summer, to spend the day in the kitchen cooking up a storm!  Silly girl!  Kevin and I are the grateful recipients of her culinary skills. She even made sushi for Kevin!  We talked Rex and Erin into staying to watch the Rider game with us.  Exciting game but it wasn't the end result we were hoping for.  

Cheryl and Alexa stopped by to pick up camping supplies and they dropped off some exquisite bath products, which I will save for when this @*&$%*!)-PICC-line is removed and I can actually enjoy a relaxing soak in the tub.  I can't wait to feel like a human again.  After I re-enter the human race, I will look forward to feeling like a woman again, too.  As you can tell, I have my sights set on the end of all of this cancer business.  

It was so nice of Jim to stop by after dinner.  He brought some of Lynne's spaghetti sauce. Yumm.  Jack phoned in the evening, too.  It was especially comforting these past few days for Kevin and I to feel connected to all of our family.  It feels safe and united.  Family and friends.  How would I manage without all of you?!

Nurse Cratchet administered the last of this series of neupogen injections!  Thanks, Syl!  

Now today.  I wish I could say I feel increasingly better but I'm not quite there.  Not much zippedy-doo-da today.  The rash on my face is still there and is bothersome.  It's not AS bad as it was previously.  I have a call in to my oncologist to discuss it.  Today my body aches all over and my skin is tender to touch.  My energy is very low and I feel weaker than yesterday.  Bummer.  On the plus side, my body temperature is back to normal and that, I think, gives me the fortitude I need to manage without a much yearned for time out.  Maybe things will pick up during the day.  Could happen.  
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  1. Hi Heather,
    Started a little note earlier, but then was distracted with the delivery of our new little guy. We decided to take Gus (Elle's brother). They were coming into town today, so they brought him along. He's sweet, quieter than Elle, although I guess this is still new territory for him and he's the low man on the totem pole so far. But I'm beginning to see that confidence that Diane Hartnett identified early on with Elle. Hopefully she won't get too bossy and 'bitchy' with him!
    Sorry about the tough game lately. . . hopefully this will be the last of the worst for you. I think of you whenever the boys are on the computer playing their war-games. All those men or creatures running around killing things off to win the battle - That's team taxotere! Wicked and tough - but good.
    Sure hope this week is better and they find some resolution to your burning skin. And yes only one battle left in this tournament. Cheering you on.

  2. Hi Laurel,

    I love your analogy! It makes sense to me after years of watching Luke play Warcraft, I can visualize it. Nice visual. Thanks for that and for cheering me on every day! It makes a big difference to me.


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