Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Spidie Senses

This is a spider Mom noticed at our back door. He's big! And he seems fitting since I feel like I have spiders inside me. Well, not exactly, but close enough.

I felt very crappy yesterday after feeling increasingly worse on Sunday. On the upside, I slept well last night and feel not so bad today. Much better than I did on Sunday and yesterday. So far. And not just because my internet is fixed, though that does help with my spirits, of course.

Current Side Effects for Our Records:

1. Tongue turned black. My mouth was feeling gummy on Sunday afternoon, so I checked to see if my tongue was turning white like last time and was startled to see it was black. Ewww. I brushed it gently with my toothbrush, but it was still black. The top part was kind of charcoal coloured and the grooves were black. Today, though, it looks much better. Just barely grey.

2. My eyes have bothered me. My eyeballs were aching and my vision was a bit off. I had Kevin help me with some eye drops and that seems to have made a big difference. Problem solved ... perhaps.

3. Sharp pains in knees, ankles and the sides of my feet. Fleeting but sharp. Not unbearable. It also makes my feet and legs feel restless.

4. Chemo Brain. This is the first time I would actually say that I can tell that treatment is causing any brain blips. I've read and heard about chemo brain but haven't, until now, noticed anything aside from my usual flagging memory. The last couple of days I'm quite surprised at the little things I can't remember. I hear this will pass. Let's hope. At any rate, it's not nearly as bad as the stories I've heard. Someone told me, too, that my inability to concentrate is probably chemo brain, too. Possibly but I'm not 100% sure about that, but now I am aware of some real, but minor, memory slips.

5. Fever. Yesterday I felt really crappy. By midafternoon I was having chills and finally I figured out that I had a dreaded fever that reached just over 38, at which point one has to call an Oncologist. Kevin called the oncologist on call at Emergency and we were given permission to take Tylenol. Slowly it helped and by the time I went to bed at midnight, I had a normal temp and I'm thrilled to say I slept very well (me and my sleeping pill) and I do not have a fever today. YIPPEE!! I DO NOT want to go back to the hospital.

6. Fatigue and weakness. I feel a little numbness in the fronts of my upper legs sometimes and when I walk I feel slightly unstable. I don't feel like I'll collapse ... not remotely ... just cautious. It feels strange ... little bits of numbness here and there but, like the stabbing pains, fleeting.

7. Taste buds have gone to hell. I knew that was coming, which means I way overate the few days before chemo ... just trying to catch some favourite flavours while I could even when I was already full. Now I have little appetite and what I do feel like eating isn't necessarily "good stuff", unless you call peanut butter, jam, cheez whiz and pretzels good stuff? Still, I make myself eat some tasteless fruit and veggies. I made sure I ate a whole jar of Cindy's canned peaches BEFORE I lost my tastebuds. They were DELICIOUS!!

8. Nausea. Yes, that's starting, too. I tend to reach for toast or pretzels to settle my stomach. I'm starting to feel nausea a couple of times a day and always a bit at night. Same as last time.

9. Today my PICC-line in my arm is bugging me. It hurts when I flex my arm muscle or turn my arm so that it turns that muscle. I might get Sylvia to redress it for me. Sylvia, bless her, came by last night to give me my neupogen injection and to change the dressing over my PICC-line. Thanks, Syl. Sorry we were such curmudgeons last night. It had just been an especially crappy day.

And now, my friends, we're all up to date. The fact that I'm feeling better today than the past 2 days feels encouraging to me. I'll just enjoy it while I can. And now for some toast.



  1. ooops - jumped in too soon (was excited to see you were back) saying I was glad you were feeling well . . your list of side-effects does not sound good at all. How patient and resolute of you to keep your good spirit through all of this. Enjoy these sunny days.

  2. Long list of side effects, Laurel, but some of them are relatively minor. I just document them for reference. The fever and generally feeling like crap wasn't any fun, though, that's for sure. It made me think that even "1 more chemo" sounded ominous. Hopefully those thoughts will fade as I work through this treatment and get to the point where I can feel wellish again.


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