Yes, Kevin got back from Regina just in time to wheel up to the door and take me to my appointment. He came with me and I'm glad he did. Today, before my radiation treatment, we met with my radiation oncologist and I felt better being able to ask a few questions and get some reassurances (or not). I wasn't supposed to see him until next Tuesday (Tuesdays being his appointment days) but I requested an appointment today just because I had a few specific questions that had come to mind before things got underway yesterday and now I'm VERY glad I asked for an appointment. I feel a little better about it, though it doesn't change anything.
It was nice having Kevin come along. He was in the room while they were positioning me and it was a welcome distraction to hear the technicians explaining everything to him. He then went with them to the viewing station where he could see me on screen getting my radiation and also see the other screen that show all the technical details ... x-rays, coordinates, yadayadayada.
So ... TWO DONE ... only 28 left!!
After my appointment, I cried for a while. I'm okay, I just need a little time to wrap my head around this. Parts of it have been unexpected and, just in general, I didn't think I'd have this tough a time with it mentally and emotionally. I just need a little time, that's all. I'll figure that out. Already some excellent suggestions from my team have helped. I see "Charlie" suggested I take just take the penalty and then carry on. Good idea, Charlie! Or, like this popular suggests ... "Keep Calm and Carry On". That's a good reminder to just take a deep breath and keep moving forward.
After I was finished at the Champion Centre, Kevin and I went to Walmart where I bought a particular aloe vera gel that was recommended and a black, cotton undershirt that I won't care if it gets lotion and black marks (the marks they put on my skin that rub off on my clothes). We also got a couple of cotton camisoles with some light support and I'll see how those work for me. We got those at the Adidas store and at Mark's Work Wearhouse.
And now home. Today, I didn't feel all the effects I'd been feeling last night. My throat wasn't sore this morning and my nipple didn't hurt. Mostly I just felt a general tenderness under my arm and the remnants of a light sun burn on my back, side and breast. Nothing I couldn't handle now that I've accepted that I'll feel these effects before next week. I did have a big, old melt down today. It was a bit long and drawn on and I wailed and wailed and wailed. Eventually, I began to marvel at my own ability to sob so loudly and for so long and I had to laugh at myself eventually. I got out of the tub, a red-faced, teary mess and when I saw how ridiculous I looked in the mirror, I had to laugh. Besides, I kept trying to put lotion on my face and the tears kept washing it off. I had to quit crying. And I did. It was better to just do it and get it over with, though. I don't think I'll need to sob like that for a while now. I sure hope not.
Thanks, everyone, for your emails, comments and calls. I so appreciate that you are all there for me and bolstering me for this new, grim experience.
Thanks, Syl and Don, for the pretty rose. And thanks, Auntie Eileen for the soft, pillowy thing that might just be a great support for my tender boob when I go to bed.
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