Saturday, June 13, 2009

Day 4 - What a Lovely Day!

It's so beautiful out! I just came in from sitting in a shady spot on the deck. Sun is taking over so I have to get out of that. Chemo and sun no mix. I think we're going to get an umbrelly for the deck so I can sit out there more often.

I had a better night sleeping last night. Kevin opened the windows upstairs and the fresh, cool air was lovely. I slept for longer stretches though, for some reason the PICC-line was a little annoying and careful placement of my arms was required. I managed well enough though. Kevin slept on the sofa because he's courting a wee cold and we are now keeping a distance. Just to be safe.

The only problem with having the windows open last night is that I had forgotten about all the outdoor noise, especially on a Friday night. There were some women having a conversation on the sidewalk outside our house at 4:15 in the morning. What's that about? And, of course, I felt like I was trying to sleep in an Aviary! Still, can't complain about birds. It's lovely to hear them and to know there are so many different kinds out there.

I don't feel quite so perky today. Just a little shaky on my legs for some reason. I'm being weened off Dexamethadone (the steroid that was making me feel pretty spry), so maybe that's the problem. I just might miss that drug. I had a nice, long bath and finally washed my hair for the first time since the PICC-line went in. It was looking pretty ratty and has been for a while but there doesn't seem to be much point in getting it cut when it won't be with me long anyway. I had been so looking forward to Carol's offer to come over today and cut it for me but she feels like she, too, is catching a cold and we're not going to risk it. Still, a great disappointment for me. Did you hear that, Carol??!! Get well, soon! I NEED that haircut!! My hair is STILL looking ratty! By the way, it's advised that I get a shorter haircut before it starts falling out. I guess it makes it less painful? I don't know. If I thought my hair looked half decent now, I'd leave it, but really and truly, it looks like crap.

No walking today unless I feel better later. When I woke up this morning I felt just a little down because I'd felt better the previous mornings even though I hadn't slept as well. My first thought was "f'ing chemo". But then I remembered that it's not "f'ing chemo", it's "f'ing cancer". Chemo is on my TEAM!! It's not always easy to remember that because sometimes, already, it feels like the enemy. Alanna told me to imagine it as "rays of bright sunshine coursing through my body" but I'm having a hard time bringing that image to mind today. I guess just because chemo is on my team doesn't mean I have to like the way it plays ... we just have to find a way to work together. I'll take inspiration from my colleagues at the Centre for the Study of Co-operatives where co-operation is standard practice and people strive to work well together co-operatively. That will be me and chemo as soon as we get some kinks worked out, I hope. Co-operative team players with a common goal. I just wish I didn't need chemo's particular talents. Good thing I have the rest of you on my team to back me! Thanks for that ... REALLY!!

Mom just made me a very nice sandwich and I'm going to eat it while I feel I can. Don't worry, I don't feel actually sick to my stomach, I just don't have much of an appetite and do better grazing than mealing. Fresh is good and this sandwich looks fresh.

Enjoy the sunny Saturday (for a very welcome change)!

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