I thought I would be feeling worse by now. I'm happy to say I was wrong!
The plumbing issues have been resolved. No drama. No drama is good in the personal plumbing department.
My feet and fingers are still numb but that's not painful and only requires a wee bit of caution. There are no knives in the sink when I wash dishes, for example.
The redness on my chest, neck and face is there but is not uncomfortable or severe, like last time.
I had a good, long sleep last night. Ten hours, think.
I believe I'm on the train that is now leaving the chemo station. Next stop ... surgical ward.
Surgery is where my head is at now. Surgery and helping my body recover as quickly as possible.
Here's my view of the surgical scenario:
After my last surgery (a sentinel node lumpectomy), where my surgeon removed the lump (3 cm - size of elongated golf ball) and two lymph nodes, the pathology report indicated that the margins were clear but very close in one area and there were micrometastasis in both nodes.
After that, my surgeon met with a team of specialists that he regularly meets with where they discuss cases and decide as a group what the best recommendations are for future care. In my case, the majority of the group felt that my margins were not clear enough and that I should have additional surgery to remove more tissue and more (all, I think) lymph nodes on my left side. As I understand it, not all of the group felt that additional surgery was necessary.
And that's where I'm at now until we meet with my surgeon on Monday. As the day grows closer, I am more and more considering that "no additional surgery" might be an option. Of course, if my surgeon recommends surgery, that's what I'll do, though the extent of that surgery is yet to be determined. I think there might be a chance my surgeon might support the "no surgery" option. It will all be a matter of weighing risks where there are no guarantees and little else but statistics to base a decision on. What are the odds that the chemotherapy took care of the micrometastasis? Can we expect that the other nodes are clear now? Is there a chance that some cancer cells are still in my breast tissue because of the margin having been so close? What are the odds of the chemotherapy having zapped those? Would radiation take care of anything the chemotherapy missed? ARGHHH!! Questions. Questions. And mostly questions with no solid answers.
I expect a very difficult decision and I really hope my surgeon is willing to provide some authoritative as well as personal guidance.
This is where my head is at today.
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