Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Christmas vs Battle Fatigue. Christmas wins!

Finally, another quilt square done. Nine squares done - 11 to go! I guess I won't have them finished by Christmas. I'll shoot for half done, which means I need to get another one finished tonight.

I'm so nervous about the state of my skin. Very minor extensions of my left arm cause stinging. Stinging, to me, suggests cracks in the skin but I can't see any cracks and there's no blood. That's good. I continue to apply lotion, including several times during the night. As it gets closer to my appointment time I'm going to try lotioning and stretching repeatedly until I can (hopefully) comfortably move my arms over my head in preparation for today's treatment. I see my radiation oncologist today, too, and maybe he'll be able to tell me more about my skin's condition and whether or not it is likely to hold.

Joints and tendons - no improvements. Bah!!!

Mostly, I think I've been experiencing battle fatigue over the past couple of months. You would think treatments being so close to being DONE WITH, I'd be more elated but I just feel so dragged down by all of this. It's been 11 months since I was first told that something looked worrisome in my ultrasound and then my mammogram. That seems like an awfully long time and the time, for me, has gone so slowly. If it wasn't for the joy of the season and kids coming home and family and friends and all that cheer, I really think I'd be pretty miserable. With that in mind, I'm especially grateful for timing and for the cheer I get from everyone. The reminders that better health and a return to some kind of normalcy is just around the corner. At last. At last. At last. HOLD THAT THOUGHT!!!!

One more sleep to Hannah!!!
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